Friday, September 28, 2007
by Bonnie Calhoun
Hey, if you have nothing to do over the weekend and you want to entertain yourself, go check out a new function of Blogger. You can view photos uploaded to public Blogger blogs using THIS!
This is a bit of motherly wisdom to hold you through the weekend!
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE..."If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION..."You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL..."If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC..."Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC..."If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT..."Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught me IRONY..."Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS..."Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM..."Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA..."You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER..."This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY..."If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE..."I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION..."Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY..."There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have all the food you have to eat. Clean your plate."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION..."Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING..."You are going to get it when you get home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE..."If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."
19. My mother taught me ESP..."Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you
20. My mother taught me HUMOR..."When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come
running to me."
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT..."If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS..."You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS..."Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM..."When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE..."One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"
Thursday, September 27, 2007
by Bonnie Calhoun
I just love this picture...I had to add it!
Hey...the weekend is almost here! Check out the joke!
Sister Mary, who worked for a home health agency, was out making her rounds visiting homebound patients when she ran out of gas. As luck would have it, a gas station was just a block away. She walked to the station to borrow a gas can and buy some gas.
The attendant told her the only gas can he owned had been loaned out but she could wait until it was returned.
Since the nun was on the way to see a patient, she decided not to wait and walked back to her car. She looked for something in her car that she could fill with gas and spotted the bedpan she was taking to the patient.
Always resourceful she carried the bedpan to the station, filled it with gas, and carried the full bedpan back to her car. As she was pouring the gas into her tank, two men watched from across the street.
One of them turned to the other and said,"If it starts, I'm turning Catholic."
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Tamera Alexander is a bestselling novelist whose deeply drawn characters, thought provoking plots, and poignant prose resonate with readers. Alexander’s books have won multiple awards, including Romance Writers of America’s 2007 RITA® for Best Inspirational Romance, the 2007 Gayle Wilson Award of Excellence, 2007 Bookseller’s Best, and Library Journal’s Top Christian Fiction of 2006.
Her books have received acclaim from Library Journal, True West Magazine and Historical Novels Review, and Rekindled debuted on the CBA fiction bestseller list. She has a professional background in business management and conference coordination. A leader of women's ministries for over twelve years, she is currently active in music ministry, facilitating small groups, and mentoring other women. A graduate of Harding University, Tamera lives with her husband and their two teenagers in Greeley, Colorado.
Her other two books in the Fountain Creek Chronicles are Rekindled (Book 1) and Revealed (Book 2)
To celebrate the release of Remembered, as well as the 3-volume boxed set of Fountain Creek Chronicles (Rekindled, Revealed, and Remembered), Tamera is currently giving away boxed sets in a contest on her website. Check out the contest at http://www.tameraalexander.com/ .
From a Distance, the first book in Tamera’s next historical series (Timber Ridge Reflections) releases in spring 2008.
ABOUT THE BOOK:Though loss is often marked
in a single moment,
letting go of someone you love
can take a lifetime...
The threat of war--and a final request--send Véronique Girard from France to a distant and uninviting country. In the Colorado Territory, she searches for the man who has held her heart since childhood--her father. Pierre Girard left Paris for the Americas to seek his fortune in fur trading, vowing to send for his wife and daughter. But twenty-five years have passed and his vow remains unfulfilled. Sifting through shards of broken promises, Véronique embarks on a dangerous search for a man she scarcely remembers.
His grief finally healed, Jack Brennan is moving on with life. After years of guiding families west, he is now working as a freighter to the mining towns surrounding Willow Springs. What he doesn't count on is an unexpected traveling companion on his trips up into the mountains, and how one woman's search will cause havoc with his plans... and his life.
"Alexander again delivers a most amazing story. The characters are more than words on the page; they become real people. Though there are French words sprinkled throughout the story, they enhance the emotions rather than distract the reader." --Romantic Times
"...a rich historical romance by possibly the best new writer in this subgenre." --Library Journal
"Alexander has done it again with Remembered, third in the FOUNTAIN CREEK CHRONICLES. She's fashioned characters that are as rich and deep as the mountains and valleys they explore throughout the pages, coloring the story as adeptly as the heroine does her canvas. I was drawn immediately into the ages-old heartaches of both of the main characters, understanding at once Veronique's reticence to make a place for herself in the unknown wilds of America and Jack's uncompromising love for this land that he’s cut a swath through time and again. They both have a series of mountains to overcome in the search for Veronique’s father, but I enjoyed watching their faith and appreciation grow with each turn of the page. And woven adeptly through it all is the encompassing truth of the Lord's sovereignty—that sometimes He takes away, and sometimes He gives us what we need, not what we're looking for.
Anyone's who's read the other Fountain Creek books won't want to miss this one, but it easily stands alone. The characters will take you by the hand and lead you heart-first into their stories, and by the time they release you at the end, you'll feel as though you've taken up residence just across the Creek from them, as surely as they have in your heart." --Roseanna White, christianreviewofbooks.com
"Remembered, the third book in the FOUNTAIN CREEK CHRONICLES, takes us back to Willow Creek and revisits beloved characters from the previous two books in the series, Rekindled and Revealed. Tamera Alexander has the remarkable ability to create places, and characters who endear themselves to us, even those just briefly mentioned. If I had lived in the late 1800s, I would love to have met these people and would surely have been inspired by the way they lived out their faith.
Remembered is a delightful read, well-researched and well-written. I expect to see great things from this author in the future." --Lindsey Freitas, bookloons.com
"Remembered is an absolutely wonderful continuation of the FOUNTAIN CREEK CHRONICLES." --Amanda Schafer, armchairinterviews.com
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
by Bonnie Calhoun
Times flies and I get older every day...*sigh*...I need chocolate! Here's a funny while I go unwrap a few pieces
John invited his mother over for dinner.
During the meal, his mother couldn't help noticing how attractive and shapely the housekeeper was.
Over the course of the evening, she started to wonder if there was more between John and the housekeeper than met the eye.
Reading his mom's thoughts, John volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, my relationship with my housekeeper is purely professional."
About a week later, the housekeeper came to John and said, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?"
John said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll write her a letter just to be sure."
So he sat down and wrote:
"Dear Mother, I'm not saying you 'did' take a gravy ladle from my house, and I'm not saying you 'did not' take a gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner."
Several days later, John received a letter back from his mother:
Dear Son, I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with your housekeeper, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with your housekeeper. But the fact remains that if you were sleeping in your own bed, you would have found the gravy ladle by now."
Monday, September 24, 2007
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Lyn Cote's journey to becoming a published author was a long one - she started her first book when her daughter was 13 months old and her first novel was published when her daughter was about to enter high school. But Lyn was writing for a market that hadn't taken shape yet - the inspirational fiction market.
In 1996, Lyn Cote's first inspirational historical manuscript was a finalist in the Romance Writers of America's Golden Heart Contest. This became her first historical novel, Whispers Of Love, in her BLESSED ASSURANCE series.
Most recently, Chloe, the first novel in Lyn's "Women of Ivy Manor" historical series was a 2006 RWA Rita Award finalist for Best Inspirational, as well as a finalist for the Holt Medallion and the National REaders Choice Contest.
Lyn also writes contemporary romance and romantic suspense. She lives in the lovely northwoods of Wisconsin with her husband and three cats. Aside from writing, she also likes to knit, crochet, read, and do lunch with friends.
ABOUT THE BOOK:
Now available for the first time in one edition--All three novels from Lyn Cote's beloved Blessed Assurance series
In Whispers of Love, Civil War widow Jessie Wagstaff must fend for herself and her son. When a stranger, Lee Smith, befriends Jessie's son, even though she recognizes nine-year-old Linc's need for a father figure, she's reluctant to let a new man into their life. When the Great Chicago Fire blazes, every heart is pushed to its limits.
In Lost In His Love, Jessie's son Linc, a social activist and reporter, charms his way through the upper class of San Francisco to build much-needed support for his fight against child labor. His main target is Cecilia Jackson, a beautiful heiress who doesn't recognize the crucial part she plays in this dangerous exploitation. As the secrets of her family's dark past are exposed, Cecilia must revive her own wounded spirit and find the strength to lean on the never-failing love of Christ. But when the 1906 earthquake hits, everyone's faith will be put to the test.
In Echoes of Mercy, Meg Wagstaff challenges the racial barriers of 1920s New Orleans in order to prove that her childhood friend did not commit murder. The stubborn lawyer prosecuting the case, Gabriel St. Clair, is an authentic Southern gentleman who makes the mistake of underestimating Meg, both her tenacity and her charm. Despite their many differences, sparks begin to fly. But when Meg discovers the truth, will Gabe be able to protect her from those who can't afford to have justice prevail?
"A beautiful tale of love, forgiveness, and acceptance."
Friday, September 21, 2007
by Bonnie Calhoun
Happy weekend to ya'll! This is just one of the creative ways to get a few days off, irrespective of waiting for the weekend....Yea...two days off!
Two bone weary public servants were working their little hearts and souls out. Their department was just too busy for staff to be able take flex. But there had to be a way...
One of the two public servants suddenly lifted his head. "I know how to get some time off work" the man whispered.
"How?" asked the second worker.
Instead of answering, the man quickly looked around. No sign of his Director. He jumped up on his desk, kicked out a couple of ceiling tiles and hoisted himself up. "Look!" he hissed, then swinging his legs over a metal pipe, hung upside down.
Within seconds, the Director emerged from the Branch Head's office at the far end of the floor. He saw the worker hanging from the ceiling, and asked him what on earth he thought he was doing.
"I'm a light bulb" answered the public servant.
"I think you need some time off," barked the Director. "Get out of here - that's an order - and I don't want to see you back here for at least another two days! You understand me?"
"Yes sir", the public servant answered meekly, then jumped down, logged off his computer and left.
The second worker was hot on his heels.
"Where do you think you're going?" the boss asked.
"Home," he said lightly. "I can't work in the dark."
Thursday, September 20, 2007
by Bonnie Calhoun
When you have to visit a public bathroom, you usually find a line of women, so you smile politely and take your place. Once it's your turn, you check for feet under the stall doors. Every stall is occupied.
Finally, a door opens and you dash in, nearly knocking down the woman leaving the stall. You get in to find the door won't latch. It doesn't matter, the wait has been so long you are about to wet your pants!
The dispenser for the modern "seat covers" (invented by someone's Mom, no doubt) is handy, but empty. You would hang your purse on the door hook, if there was one, but there isn't - so you carefully, but quickly drape it around your neck, (Mom would turn over in her grave if you put it on the FLOOR!), yank down your pants, and assume " The Stance."
In this position your aging, toneless thigh muscles begin to shake. You'd love to sit down, but you certainly hadn't taken time to wipe the seat or lay toilet paper on it, so you hold "The Stance."
To take your mind off your trembling thighs, you reach for what you discover to be the empty toilet paper dispenser. In your mind, you can hear your mother's voice saying, "Honey, if you had tried to clean the seat, you would have KNOWN there was no toilet paper!" Your thighs shake more.
You remember the tiny tissue that you blew your nose on yesterday - the one that's still in your purse. (Oh yeah, the purse around your neck, that now, you have to hold up trying not to strangle yourself at the same time). That would have to do. You crumple it in the puffiest way possible. It's still smaller than your thumbnail
Someone pushes your door open because the latch doesn't work. The door hits your purse, which is hanging around your neck in front of your chest, and you and your purse topple backward against the tank of the toilet.
"Occupied!" you scream, as you reach for the door, dropping your precious, tiny, crumpled tissue in a puddle on the floor, lose your footing altogether, and slide down directly onto the TOILET SEAT.
It is wet of course. You bolt up, knowing all too well that it's too late. Your bare bottom has made contact with every imaginable germ and life form on the uncovered seat because YOU never laid down toilet paper - not that there was any, even if you had taken time to try.
You know that your mother would be utterly appalled if she knew, because, you're certain her bare bottom never touched a public toilet seat because, frankly, dear, "You just don't KNOW what kind of diseases you could get."
By this time, the automatic sensor on the back of the toilet is so confused that it flushes, prope lling a stream of water like a fire hose against the inside of the bowl that sprays a fine mist of water that covers your butt and runs down your legs and into your shoes. The flush somehow sucks everything down with such force that you grab onto the empty toilet paper dispenser for fear of being dragged in too.
At this point, you give up. You're soaked by th e spewi ng water and the wet toilet seat. You're exhausted. You try to wipe with a gum wrapper you found in your pocket an d then slink out inconspicuously to the sinks.
You can't figure out how to operate the faucets with the automatic sensors, so you wipe your hands with spit and a dry paper towel and walk past the line of women still waiting.
You are no longer able to smile politely to them. A kind soul at the very end of the line points out a piece of toilet paper trailing from your shoe. (Where was that when you NEEDED it??) You yank the paper from your shoe, plunk i t in the woman's hand and tell her warmly, "Here, you just might need this."
As you exit, you spot your hubby, who has long since entered, used, and left the men's restroom. Annoyed, he asks, "What took you so long, and why is your purse hanging around your neck?"
This is dedicated to women everywhere who deal with a public restrooms (rest??? you've GOT to be kidding!!). It finally explains to the men what really does take us so long. It also answers their other commonly asked questions about why women go to the restroom in pairs. It's so the other gal can hold the door, hang onto your purse and hand you Kleenex under the door!
This HAD to be written by a woman! No one else could describe it so accurately!
Send this to all women that need a good laugh AND, don't forget to have a mammogram!!!!!! It could save your life!
A Friend Is Like A Good Bra...
Hard to Find
Always Lifts You Up
Never Lets You Down or Leaves You Hanging
And Is Always Close To Your Heart!!!
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
by Bonnie Calhoun
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Victoria Christopher Murray always knew she would become an author, even as she was taking quite an unlikely path to that destination. A native of Queens, New York, Victoria first left New York to attend Hampton Institute in Virginia where she majored in Communication Disorders. After graduating from Hampton, Victoria attended New York University where she received her MBA.
Victoria spent ten years in Corporate America before she decided to test her entrepreneurial spirit. She opened a Financial Services Agency for Aegon, USA where she managed the number one division for nine consecutive years. However, Victoria never lost the dream to write and when the “bug” hit her again in 1997, she answered the call.
Victoria originally self published Temptation. “I wanted to write a book as entertaining and compelling as any of the books on the market, put God in the middle, and have the book still be a page-turner. I wasn’t writing to any particular genre – I didn’t even know Christian fiction existed. I just wanted to write about people I knew and characters I could relate to.”
In 2000, Time Warner published Temptation. Temptation made numerous best sellers list across the nation and remained on the Essence bestsellers list for nine consecutive months. In 2001, Temptation was nominated for an NAACP Image Award in Outstanding Literature.
Since Temptation, Victoria has written four other novels: JOY, Truth Be Told, Grown Folks Business, and A Sin and a Shame. All of her novels have continued to be Essence bestsellers; her last three each reaching #1. In addition, Victoria has received numerous awards including the Golden Pen Award for Best Inspirational Fiction and in 2006, she was awarded the Phyllis Wheatley Trailblazer Award for being the pioneer in African American Christian Fiction.
ABOUT THE BOOK:
There are four ways a woman can handle heartbreak. She can fall apart, seek revenge, turn cold, or move on. The Ex Files is the story of these four women:
When Kendall Stewart finds her husband and her sister in bed together, she vows to never let anyone get that close again. But when she is faced with saving the life of the woman who destroyed hers, will she be able to forgive?
When an NBA superstar tells his mistress, Asia Ingrum, that he's decided to honor his marriage vows, her shock quickly gives way to revenge...but her decision may come back to haunt their five-year-old daughter.
Every night Vanessa Martin wonders why her husband committed suicide. Even worse, she contemplates joining him in eternity. Will Vanessa be able to gather the strength to live again?
Sheridan Hart is finally finding her way after a lie destroyed her seventeen-year marriage. Her new love is ready to get married, but will she commit to this younger man or is her ex-husband taking up too much space in her heart?
When their pastor asks Kendall, Asia, Vanessa, and Sheridan to meet weekly for prayer, they can't imagine they will have anything in common. But then a devastating tragedy strikes and these strangers are forced to reexamine their choices. Will they find true friendship, or will prayer -- and their union -- fail them?
Bonnie Calhoun here!
I don't usually post my own opinions about the books we review since I'm the Director, but at this juncture I feel compelled to be opinionated...LOL!
I must preface by saying that I don't read women's fiction, I'm more of a Suspense/Thiller Action/Adventure person. But because of some of the negative remarks about this I had to read it for myself, and address the issues.
Eplicit sex....LOL...there are 11 lines in an almost 400 page book, and there is nothing explicit about them....it's all in the mind of the beholder.
Lack of addressing the one husband's homosexuality...It wasn't the husband's story. It was about how his ex-wife was dealing with his betrayal of their 17 year marriage.
Two girls kissing...they weren't being gay, they were experimenting to see what kissing was like, and they didn't have a boy to practice on.
And as for the perceived lack of a spiritual message....God, His mercy, His redemption, and His love were all over this story. Sheesh, I'm glad some of these people weren't around when the Bible was being codified or the Book of Ester would have been out on its ear (God isn't mentioned even once in the book!)
All in all, I actually loved the book and cried with the characters. Now I'll have to buy the other book that this one family is in to see how her story all began!
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
by Bonnie Calhoun
I rear-ended a car a few days ago.....and it was really my fault.
The driver got out of the other car, and I was shocked to see he was a DWARF!!!
He looked up at me and said ,"I am NOT happy!"
So I said, "OK, I give up. Which one are you?"
~Friends don't let friends take home ugly men~
~Beauty is only a lightswitch away~
~No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick of putting up with her!~
~It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere~
~If voting could really change things, it would be illegal!~
~If pro is the opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Congress!~
And last but not least...
~A Woman's Rule of Thumb...If it has tires or testicles, you're going to have trouble with it!~
Monday, September 17, 2007
by Bonnie Calhoun
A blonde finds herself in serious trouble. Her business has gone bust and
she's in dire financial straits. She's so desperate that she decides to ask God for help.
She begins to pray ...."God, please help me. I've lost my business and if I don't get
some money soon, I'm going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the lotto."
Lotto night comes, and somebody else wins it.
She again prays..."God, please let me win the lotto! I've lost my business, my house
and I'm Going to lose my car as well."
Lotto night comes and she still has no luck.
Once again, she prays..."My God, why have You forsaken me? I've lost my business,
my house, and my Car. My children are starving. I don't often ask You for help,
and I have Always been a good servant to You. PLEASE let me win the lotto just
"This One Time" so I can get my life back in order."
Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open.
The blonde is overwhelmed by the Voice of God Himself .
"Sweetheart, work with Me on this . . Buy a ticket."
Friday, September 14, 2007
by Bonnie Calhoun
There is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms.
Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 AM .
The next day at 8:45 AM there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's door. The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant about the new employee. He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up, putting the entire production line behind schedule.
The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for himself, so the 2 men march down to the factory floor. When they get there the line is so backed up that there are Tickle Me Elmo's all over the factory floor and they're really beginning to pile up.
At the end of the line stands Lena surrounded by mountains of Tickle Me Elmo's. She has a roll of plush red fabric and a huge bag of small marbles.
The 2 men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles and begins to carefully sew the little package between Elmo's legs.
The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter. After several minutes of hysterics he pulls himself together and approaches Lena.
"I'm sorry," he says to her, barely able to keep a straight face, "but I think you misunderstood the instructions I gave you yesterday...Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles."
Thursday, September 13, 2007
by Bonnie Calhoun
A man walks into a bar with a paper bag. He sits down and places the bag on the
counter. The bartender walks up and asks what's in the bag.
The man reaches into the bag and pulls out a little man, about one foot high and sets him on the counter. He reaches back into the bag and pulls out a small piano, setting it on the counter as well. He reaches into the bag once again and pulls out a tiny piano bench, which he places in front of the piano.
The little man sits down at the piano, and starts playing a beautiful piece by Mozart!
'Where on earth did you get that?' says the bartender.
The man responds by reaching into the paper bag. This time he pulls out a magic lamp.
He hands it to the bartender and says: 'Here. Rub it.'
So the bartender ru bs the lamp, and suddenly there's a gust of smoke and a beautiful genie is standing before him. 'I will grant you one wish.
Just one wish...each person is only allowed one! The bartender gets real excited. Without hesitating he says, 'I want a million bucks!'
A few moments later, a duck walks into the bar. It is soon followed by another duck, then another. Pretty soon, the entire bar is filled with ducks and they keep coming!
The bartender turns to the man and says, 'Y'know, I think your genie's a little deaf. I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks.'
'No crap!!' says the man, 'do you really think I asked for a 12 inch pianist?'
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Hope Lyda has always wanted to write. Ever since she was a young tyke with a spiral notebook in hand, she had the urge to fill it. Sadly, Peggy Meets the Midgets did not cause Hope to be deemed a child prodigy, so she continued her path of education. She was grade-obsessed but also truly enjoyed sharing laughs with her circle of creative friends.
Hope attended the University of Oregon and graduated with a double major in Journalism: Advertising and Telecommunications and Film. With aspirations to write screenplays or teleplays, she of course ended up doing public relations for non-profits until she entered the publishing field in which she has worked for 10 years.
Her passions are quiet ones—she loves a good read, an afternoon of free thinking time, writing, journaling, road trips, travel, and pondering life from her back yard pergola. She loiters in bookstores frequently, though has never been arrested for such. Her big hope is to encourage others to embrace their dreams and understand their faith journeys through the practice of journaling and the art of creative living. She hopes to also inspire such things through the themes in her fiction including Hip to Be Square and Altar Call. (There are also visions of a nice Casita with a hammock in Mexico—but one thing at a time.)
When not living in her head, she resides with her husband, Marc, in the Pacific Northwest.
ABOUT THE BOOK:Libby Hawthorne makes exotic trip itineraries but never leaves Seattle. She’d like to attend church but winds up at a bookstore. She longs for love—but who has the time? Delayed happiness has been worth it, because she’s about to get her dream promotion...
So now what?
When a corporate merger leaves her demoted and disillusioned, Libby realizes she needs to start living authentically...and soon. But just as she tries to uncover her purposed life, her cruel and unusual boss, Cecilia, demands that Libby hide Seattle’s most famous homegrown rock star in order to keep her new, bad job. For the first time in years, Libby doesn’t have a step by step plan to guide her. She must trust her faith and her heart. But what is she supposed to do with her growing admiration for Blaine Slater, a new VP from Chicago, or the surprising kindness of the rock star living incognito in her Seattle apartment? Through the humorous twist and turns, Libby uncovers a big life truth—the detours we are afraid of might just be the perfect path to happiness.
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
by Bonnie Calhoun
"Time is passing, yet for the United States of
America, there will be no forgetting September 11th. We will remember every rescuer who died in honor. We will remember every family who lives in grief. We will remember the fire and ash, the last phone calls, the funerals of the children."
-President George W Bush, November 11th, 2001
You can go HERE to view a list of the names of the souls that were lost that day.
Monday, September 10, 2007
by Bonnie Calhoun
The thanks for this funny goes to my buddy Ric. He and his brother are a prolific source of entertainment *snort*!!
A Husband takes his wife to play her first game of golf.....
Of course, the wife promptly hacked her first shot right through the window of the biggest house adjacent to the course.
The husband cringed, "I warned you to be careful! Now we'll have to go up there, find the owner, apologize and see how much your lousy drive is going to cost us."
So the couple walked up to the house and knocked on the door. A warm voice said, "Come on in." When they opened the door they saw the damage that was done: glass was all over the place, and a broken antique bottle was lying on its side near the broken window.
A man reclining on the couch asked, "Are you the people that broke my window?"
"Uh...yeah, sir. We're sure sorry about that," the husband replied.
"Oh, no apology is necessary. Actually I want to thank you. You see, I'm a genie, and I've been trapped in that bottle for a thousand years. Now that you've released me, I'm allowed to grant three wishes. I'll give you each one wish, but if you don't mind, I'll keep the last one for myself."
"Wow, that's great!" the husband said. He pondered a moment and blurted out, "I'd like a million dollars a year for the rest of my life."
"No problem," said the genie. "You've got it, it's the least I can do. And I'll guarantee you a long, healthy life!"
"And now you, young lady, what do you want?" the Genie asked.
"I'd like to own a gorgeous home complete with servants in every country in the world," teh wife said.
"Consider it done," the genie said. "And your homes will always be safe from fire, burglary and natural disasters!"
"And now," the couple asked in unison, "what's your wish, genie?"
"Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle and haven't been with a woman in more than a thousand years, my wish is to make mad passionate love to your wife."
The husband looked at his wife and said, "Gee, honey, you know we both now have a fortune, and all those houses. What do you think?"
She mulled it over for a few moments and said, "You know, you're right. Considering our good fortune, I guess I wouldn't mind, but what about you, honey?"
"You know I love you sweetheart," said the husband. "I'd do the same for you!"
So the genie and the woman went upstairs where they spent the rest of the afternoon enjoying each other.
The genie was insatiable. After about three hours non-stop, the Genie rolled over and looked directly into her eyes and asked, "How old are you and your Husband?"
"Why, we're both 35," she responded breathlessly.
"No Kidding." He said, "Thirty-five years old and both of you still believe in genies?"
Friday, September 07, 2007
by Bonnie Calhoun
TGIF...wahooo, the weekend is here! The thanks for this little cutie goes to my buddy Ric
A little boy and a little girl attended the same school and became friends. Every day they would sit together to eat their lunch. They discovered that they both brought chicken sandwiches every day!
This went on all through the fourth and fifth grades, until one day he noticed that her sandwich wasn't a chicken sandwich.
He said, "Hey, how come you're not eating chicken, don't you like it anymore?"
She said "I love it but I have to stop eating it."
"Why?" he asked.
She pointed to her lap and said "Cause I'm starting to grow little feathers down there!"
"Let me see" he said.
"Okay" and she pulled up her skirt.
He looked and said, "That's right. You are! Better not eat any more chicken."
He kept eating his chicken sandwiches until one day he brought peanut butter. He said to the little girl, "I have to stop eating chicken sandwiches, I'm starting to get feathers down there too!"
She asked if she could look, so he pulled down his pants for her!
She said, "Oh My God! It's too late for you!! You've already got the neck and gizzards!!!"
Thursday, September 06, 2007
by Bonnie Calhoun
A preacher, a priest and a rabbi when fishing on a lake one day, but the fish weren't biting.
The preacher said, "I can't take anymore of this. I'm going to go fix up the fire."
Having said this he stepped out of th boat and walked on the water to the shore.
Shortly afterwards the priest said he was also tired of sitting there and not getting even the least suggestion of a bite on his line.
He got up, walked on the water to shore and joined the preacher.
Now the rabbi watched all this in amazement, but then reasoned, "If they can do it so can I."
Convincing himself that nothing made these other men special so he should also be able to walk on the water he stepped out of the boat and immediately splashed about as he sank in the water.
The priest turned to the preacher and said, "You think we should tell him where the stones are?"
A Christian college student came to a point of indecision regarding what he thought was preparation for the ministry. More and more he just didn't feel like that's what God wanted him to do, but he didn't want to step out of God's will.
So taking out his Bible he flipped it open and stuck his finger randomly on the page and read, what he was hoping, was the will of the Lord.
The verse said, "And Judas went out and hung himself."
The student thought that's not right. There's no way that would be God's will for him, so he tried it again, this time picking a different page, a different spot on the page and read these words, "Go thou and do likewise."
A missionary to Africa was asked about his call and replied that God had called him vocally. What he didn't know all these years was that while he was in the chapel praying for God's will, one of his buddies was in the vent overhead and began calling out loudly, "Africa!" This really happened!!!
An elderly Catholic woman entered the church to pray.
She lit a candle and knelt before the image of Mary. Soon a gently voice filled the sanctuary, "Yes my daughter. What is it you want?"
The woman didn't respond at all.
Again the voice pleaded with her to tell her what it was she wanted and again she remained silent.
A third time the voice called out to her and she shouted back, "Will you'a shudda up. I'm a talking to your Mama!"
And of course the best joke of the day is looking in the mirror and realizing that God loved me. He must be either crazy or know something about me that I don't know!
Wednesday, September 05, 2007
(Zondervan, September 1, 2007)
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Camy Tang is a member of CFBA and is a loud Asian chick who writes loud Asian chick-lit. She grew up in Hawaii, but now lives in San Jose, California, with her engineer husband and rambunctious poi-dog. In a previous life she was a biologist researcher, but these days she is surgically attached to her computer, writing full-time. In her spare time, she is a staff worker for her church youth group, and she leads one of the worship teams for Sunday service.
Sushi for One? (Sushi Series, Book One is her first novel. Her second, Only Uni (Sushi Series, Book Two) comes out in February 2008!
To celebrate the launch of her debut novel, she's got a huge contest going on. Camy is giving away baskets of Christian novels and an iPod Nano! Only her newsletter YahooGroup subscribers are eligible to enter, so join today.
For more information about the contest, visit her website.
Contest ends October 31, 2007!
ABOUT THE BOOK:
Lex Sakai’s family, big, nosy, and marriage-minded, is ruled by a crafty grandmother. When her cousin Mariko gets married, Lex will become the OLDEST SINGLE COUSIN in the clan, a loathed position by all single female family members.
Lex has not dated for years.
Grandma homes in on this fact and demands, bribes, and threatens Lex to bring a boyfriend (not just a date) to her cousin’s wedding.
Lex does not want to date ... not since that terrible incident a few years back ... but, Grandma doesn't give her that choice.
Lex's options are slim because she has used her Bible study class on Ephesians to compile a huge list of traits for the PERFECT man (and the more she dates, the more she adds to the list).
The one man she keeps running into (and is completely attracted to) doesn’t seem to have a single quality on her list. It’s only when the always-in-control Lex loses control and lets God take over that all the pieces of this hilarious romance finally fall into place.
Tuesday, September 04, 2007
by Bonnie Calhoun
I want to show you some very cool sidewalk art.
Julian Beever is an English artist who's famous for his art on the pavement of England, France, Germany, USA, Australia and Belgium .
Beever gives to his drawings an amazing 3D illusion. At the bottom of the post I show you how he accomplished this one...Notice he's standing on the top of the world with a golf club!
I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Harold, the computer guy, to come over. Harold clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem. He gave me a bill for a minimum service call.
As he was walking away, I called after him, "So, what was wrong?"
He replied, "It was an ID ten T error."
I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, "An ID ten T error? What's that .. in case I need to fix it again?"
Harold grinned.... "Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?"
"No," I replied.
"Write it down," he said, "and I think you'll figure it out."
So I wrote down. I D 1 0 T
I used to like Harold.
This is a side shot to show you how the 3-D sidewalk painting of the earth was accomplished
Monday, September 03, 2007
by Bonnie Calhoun
Here's some Monday morning funnies: Thanks Ric for your contribution!
Yesterday I went to the doctor for my yearly physical. My blood pressure was high, my cholesterol was high, I'd gained some weight, and I didn't feel so hot.
My doctor said eating right doesn't have to be complicated and it would solve my physical problems. He said just think in colors -- fill your plate with bright colors... greens, yellows, reds, etc.
I went right home and ate an entire bowl of M & M's and sure enough, I felt better immediately. I never knew eating right could be so easy.
There were two twins, Joe and John.
Joe was the owner of a old dilapidated boat.
It just so happened that John's wife died the same day Joe's boat sank.
A few days later a kindly old woman saw Joe, and mistaking him for John. Said "I'm sorry to hear about your loss. You must feel terrible"
Joe, thinking she was talking about his boat, said "Fact is, I'm sort of glad to get rid of her. She was a rotten old thing from the beginning. Her bottom was all shriveled up and she smelled like an old dead fish. She was always losing her water, she had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front, too. Every time I used her the hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy. I guess what finished her off was when I rented her to those four guys looking for a good time for the weekend. I warned them that she wasn't very good, but they wanted to use her anyhow and were willing to pay. The fools all tried to get in her at the same time and split her right down the middle."
The old woman fainted.
Saturday, September 01, 2007
and her book:
(Zondervan, September 1, 2007)ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Camy Tang is a member of FIRST and is a loud Asian chick who writes loud Asian chick-lit. She grew up in Hawaii, but now lives in San Jose, California, with her engineer husband and rambunctious poi-dog. In a previous life she was a biologist researcher, but these days she is surgically attached to her computer, writing full-time. In her spare time, she is a staff worker for her church youth group, and she leads one of the worship teams for Sunday service.
Sushi for One? (Sushi Series, Book One) is her first novel. Her second, Only Uni (Sushi Series, Book Two) comes out in February 2008!
Visit her at her website.
AND NOW...THE FIRST CHAPTER:
Eat and leave. That’s all she had to do.
If Grandma didn’t kill her first for being late.
Lex Sakai raced through the open doorway to the Chinese restaurant and was immediately immersed in conversation, babies’ wails, clashing perfumes, and stale sesame oil. She tripped over the threshold and almost turned her ankle. Stupid pumps. Man, she hated wearing heels.
Her cousin Chester sat behind a small table next to the open doorway.
If you would like to read the rest of the chapter, go HERE