Friday, March 30, 2007

by Bonnie Calhoun

Okay, we made it to Friday...I can't talk...I can't think...I can't believe that Sanjaya Malakar IS STILL ON AMERICAN IDOL! In the name of all that is right in the universe...I would ask the Lord to help...but this is way too stupid to waste His time!

This is unbelievable!I tried to find a picture of this week's rubberband mohawk hairdo, but they are not forthcoming yet! And then, on Wednesday, Ryan Seacrest comes out on stage in the same kind of hairdo. Simon is beside himself and actually speechless.

Sanjaya has to go. This is like the effects of global warming, nuclear proliferation, and a few category 5 hurricanes thrown in for good measure. Lord...will the people of America please send Sanjaya Malakar HOME!!!!

And now for some other children:

To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our own, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or is something to make you chuckle. Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children. After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve.

And the first thing He said was "DON'T!"

"Don't what?" Adam asked.

"Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God answered.

"Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit?"

"Hey Eve...we have forbidden fruit!!!!"

"No Way!"

"Yes, way!"

"Do NOT eat the fruit!" said God.


"Because I am your Father and I said so!" God replied, wondering why He hadn't stopped creation after making elephants. A few minutes later, God saw His children having a fruit break and He was ticked!

"Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?" God asked.

"Uh huh," Adam replied.

"Then why did you?" asked the Father.

"I don't know," said Eve.

"She started it!" Adam said.

"Did not!"

"Did to!"


Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own. Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.


If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself.

If God had trouble raising children,

what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you?


1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.

2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children.

3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.

4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said in the first place.

5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.

6. We childproofed our homes, but they are still getting in.

7. Just when you redecorate their room into a nice TV room, they show up with boxes, suitcases and large dogs, to move back home.


Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing home one day.



"Take two aspirin" and "Keep away from children!!!"

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Thursday, March 29, 2007

This week, the

Christian Fiction Blog Alliance

is introducing


( Tyndale Fiction, 2007)


Susan May Warren


Award winning author SUSAN MAY WARREN recently returned home to her native Minnesota after serving for eight years with her husband and four children as missionaries with SEND International in Far East Russia. She now writes full time from Minnesota's north woods. Visit her Web site at


RECLAIMING NICKis the first of The Noble Legacy series. Book Two, Taming Rafe, will be available January 2008.

A Modern Day Prodigal Comes Home...

But when his father dies and leaves half of Silver Buckle--the Noble family ranch--to Nick’s former best friend, he must return home to face his mistakes, and guarantee that the Silver Buckle stays in the Noble family.

Award-winning journalist Piper Sullivan believes Nick framed her brother for murder, and she’s determined to find justice. But following Nick to the Silver Buckle and posing as a ranch cook proves more challenging than she thinks. So does resisting his charming smile.

As Nick seeks to overturn his father’s will--and Piper digs for answers--family secrets surface that send Nick’s life into a tailspin. But there’s someone who’s out to take the Silver Buckle from the Noble family, and he’ll stop at nothing--even murder--to make it happen.


“Susan May Warren once again delivers that perfect combination of heart-pumping suspense and heart-warming romance.”--Tracey Bateman, author of the Claire Everett series.

If you would like to hear more about Nick, he has his own blog Also, the first chapter is there...

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

by Bonnie Calhoun

Hey, we made it to Hump Day, and only two things have made me snort this week. Growth hormones...Please tell me why in the name of all that is Holy would someone want to intentionally put a growth chemical into their body?

This borders on being about as bizarre as women taking estrogen after menopause! You wanna' know why that borders on being a "Duh"! Because every woman on the planet goes through menopause. Since the beginning of time!

Get a grip people (especially the men hawking the pills), GOD created woman to go through menopause. Do you think that one night He was sitting around with the angels and said, "Crap! I forgot women are going to need estrogen after menopause! Boy did I screw that up! I'll need someone to create them a pill to fix that mistake!"
It's the same thing with this growth hormone thing. I saw a stupid ad, well actually I got one like it in my email...Slow down the aging process...Feel young again. Yea right, and what kind of parts are you going to grow while your getting younger.

Heck if you take to much you could revert to puberty. *snort* And I know everybody would love to go through that fun and games again! Why can't people just grow old gracefully and be who the Lord made them to be?

I'm still shaking my head.'s a joke from my friend, Ric...

Two women were out for a Saturday stroll. One had a Doberman and the other, a Chihuahua.

As they walked down the street, the one with the Doberman said to her friend, "Let's go over to that bar for a drink."

The lady with the Chihuahua said, "We can't go in there. We've got dogs with us."
The one with the Doberman said, "Just watch, and do as I do."

They walked over to the bar and the one with the Doberman put on a pair of dark glasses and started to walk in.

The bouncer at the door said, "Sorry, lady, no pets allowed."

The woman with the Doberman said, "You don't understand. This is my seeing-eye dog."

The bouncer said, "A Doberman?"

The woman said, "Yes, they're using them now. They're very good."

The bouncer said, "OK, come on in."

The lady with the Chihuahua thought that convincing him that a Chihuahua was a seeing-eye dog may be a bit more difficult, but thought, "What the heck," so she put on her dark glasses and started to walk in.

Once again the bouncer said, "Sorry, lady, no pets allowed."

The woman said, "You don't understand. This is my seeing-eye dog."

The bouncer said, "A Chihuahua?"

The woman with the Chihuahua said, "A Chihuahua? They gave me a @#%!&* Chihuahua?!"

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Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Thur Broeders Rocks!

by Bonnie Calhoun

Good Tuesday...The river is holding, or should I say the banks are holding, the water at bay. so we're all praying. There was a pretty wicked thunder and lightening storm tonight with a deluge of rain. So I spent most of the evening off line, but when I did get back to work...

Thur Broeders rocks!!! He is the awesome programming genius over at Blogger Workshop, and he created this template, in it's unadorned state. But all the CSS I use I utilize in it, I also learned from him!

Well to start, my template was fluid (it squished on smaller screens) and the sidebars loaded first. Since I've started SEO (Search Engine Optimization) I learned that to get the biggest bang for the buck, the main column needs to load first because spiders only gather a certain amount of data from a page.

So, after totally pulling my hair out trying to make the changes myself *snort*, I ask Thur if he would make a fixed, center load first version. Wheeeee!! Thur Broeders rocks...go check out all the other templates that he's made, and he teaches a lot of technique that's really helpful.

And since I spent most of last night working on my template or dodging lighting...that's all folks!

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Thank you Thur!

Monday, March 26, 2007

Colossal Squid To Be Microwaved

by Bonnie Calhoun

Good Monday! Hey guess what? I got a few stories published over at AssociatedContent...and got paid for some! Go check them out. If you'd like to join up and get paid to write, click that picture right there on the left that says AssociatedContent. It's free to join. If you don't want to get paid for writing...that's alright too!

Here are my present links:

Rat Poison Found In Pet Food

Husbands, Skunks and Fabreeze

USS Kennedy Stands Down

Well the river is on the rise again, and my friends are on the move. I've suggested that they all buy travel trailers with quick release services, that way they could take their houses with them! Well my prayers are with you guys!

I don't know if you say the story in the paper or on the news last month about the colossal squid that New Zealand fishermen caught off the coast of Antarctica. That squid weighed in at 1,089lb (540kg), nearly 100lb heavier than initial estimates.

The fisherman froze the colossal squid for the journey home to New Zealand's national museum, Te Papa Tongarewa, in the capital, Wellington.

*snort* Well now scientists want to study the squid, but the problem with leaving the 33ft-long (10m) squid to defrost naturally at room temperature is that it will take several days and the outside will rot before the inside thaws out!

Does anybody out there have a microwave large enough to thaw a colossal squid? *snort* Calamari rings from that puppy would be the size of tractor-trailer tires!

Hang around for the joke below:

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How To Make A Woman Happy

It's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be:

1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
44. compassionate


45. give her compliments regularly
46. love shopping
47. be honest
48. not look at other girls
49. not stress her out


51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes


54. Never to forget:
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes


1. Show up naked
2. Bring food
3. Hand over the remote.

Saturday, March 24, 2007

WomanSavers is a LifeSaver

by Bonnie Calhoun has been around since 2003...but ladies, ladies, ladies, ROFLOL...if I was twenty years younger, and single I would probably be living on this site!

This is the stuff that Dr. Phil shows are made up! *snort* And Jerry Springer show too if you push it far enough. Oh, the cheating men that have become infamous there!

I must have spend a half an hour just looking around. There are totally hysterical, and coffee snorting exposes on cheating men, the world over! If you live somewhere on the planet, they can tell you about a cheating man near you!

Now I have to admit that besides the side-splitting entertainment, I say that only because I'm not on the receiving end of any of it, does have a lot of informational articles geared specifically for women like free medical advice for women that are low income.

I saw a really good section that tugged on my heartstrings because it asks the question, "Are you in an abusive relationship?" God only knows how many women out there are tethered to pain from abusive men and have no one or no where to turn to. So this site can be a very good thing!

Besides the cute little Garfieldesque logo, the side-splitting entertaining what's what on every man that has ever rued the day that he treated a woman badly, the informative articles and help centers, has a section of women's comedy videos, women's games, and adult ECards *snort* the last two of which I'm...LOL...afraid to explore!

Go...check it all out...I AM WOMAN, HEAR ME ROAR!!!

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Friday, March 23, 2007

by Bonnie Calhoun

LOL...this is the most nonsensical thing I've seen in a long time. Hillary Clinton has been cast in the role of Big Brother. But they're calling her Big Sister. Well all I can say, is that, if she was getting paid for all the YouTube hits, she would have enough money to fund her campaign to be the first woman President!

The stupid YouTube video (which I didn't link to because it showed several and I wasn't sure which was which) has more than 2 million hits on it. Have I seen it? No. I have dial up. Waiting for a video to load is like watching paint dry. And it's only Hillary..I know what she looks like!

The best part of this thing is that the guy who made it, Phil de Vellis, *snort* formerly of Blue State Digital, says he quit because was getting ready to out him as the culprit. While Blue State say they fired him. Nothing like being hung out to dry!

De Vellis took a 1984 Apple Computer commercial, and replaced the "Big Brother" image with Hillary's mug! Now this is really a stretch of the imagination to give her that kind of menacing power. But it's an even bigger stretch to believe that Blue State Digital knew nothing about it, and he just thought this up all by himself.

Give me a break! Blue State digital provides technology services to Barack Obama's campaign. Do I really believe that they had no knowledge of what was going on. Twenty years ago I was naive enough that you could have pulled that over on me but not now! Hillary Clinton, it's your turn. what are you "not going to be involved in"? LOL

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Thursday, March 22, 2007

by Bonnie Calhoun

It's not Friday yet, but with the way the news is going I'm ready for a recap so that I can enjoy the weekend without interruptions!

I am so tired of hearing about Anna Nicole Smith, that I could gag! It was interesting for a while , but for crying out loud, let her die, er, uh...let IT die. They've asked for DNA from all parties concerned. I don't want to hear any more until they tell me who the straight shooter, er...father is!

Then we have Britney Spears...another gag reflex coming on here. So the girl is bald! That's the ultimate definition of a bad-hair day. *snort* Personally I'd have gone for the baseball hat and kept the hair, but hey...that's just me. I'm old and used to having my head covered!

The girl is in rehab, and rehab, and re-rehab...SO WHAT! I can't understand our fascination (and yes it is fascination or the paparazzi wouldn't be getting rich sneaking pixs) with watching someone when their down and out. Every human being on this earth has had their own JackAss moments, including moi. But they don't need to be documented in living color ad nausem!

Next is the Menu Foods Pet Food Recall, now that one is making people's animals gag...for real. I hear there's a woman that has started a Class Action lawsuit because Menu Foods knew about this long before they started the recall. Locally where I am, this has grown into a crescendo of outrage as pets have been diagnosed as...being dead or ill from the tainted food.

And bringing up the rear is Dancing With The Stars. The big hubbub is about Heather Mills (the X Mrs. Paul McCartney) and her prosthetic leg. People are watching just to see her leg fall of...Now that is just plain sick people! Get a life! And that's my last BIG gag reflex!

Let's talk men and the size of their balls...

After a two year long study, the National Science Foundation announced the following results on corporate America's recreation preferences.

1. The sport of choice for unemployed or incarcerated people is: Basketball.

2. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is: Bowling.

3. The sport of choice for front line workers is: Football.

4. The sport of choice for supervisors is: Baseball.

5. The sport of choice for middle management is: Tennis.

6. The sport of choice for corporate officers is: Golf.

Conclusion: The higher you are in the corporate structure, the smaller the balls are.

Get your mind out of the gutter....What were you thinking it was about??? Mwhahaha!

If you thought it was!

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

This week the Christian Fiction Blog Alliance is introducing


( Tyndale Fiction, 2007)

Gary Chapman

Catherine Palmer


GARY CHAPMAN is the author of the New York Times best seller The Five Love Languages and numerous other books. He's the director of Marriage & Family Life Consultants, Inc., and host of A Growing Marriage, a syndicated radio program heard on over 100 stations across North America. He and his wife, Karolyn, live in North Carolina.

CATHERINE PALMER is the Christy Award-winning, CBA best-selling author of more than forty novels--including The Bachelor's Bargain--which have more than 2 million copies in print. She lives in Missouri with her husband, Tim, and two sons.


IT HAPPENS EVERY SPRING is the first of The Four Seasons fiction series, based on the ever-changing cycles of relationships detailed in Gary Chapman's nonfiction book The Four Seasons of Marriage. The novels will focus on four couples, each moving in and out of a different season.

Word travels fast at the Just As I Am beauty shop.

So when a simple homeless man appears on Steve and Brenda Hansen's doorstep, the entire shop is set abuzz, especially when Brenda lets him sleep on their porch.

That's not all the neighbors are talking about. Spring may be blooming outdoors, but an icy chill has settled over the Hansens' marriage. Steve is keeping late hours with clients, and the usually upbeat Brenda is feeling the absence of her husband and her college-age kids.

Add to that the unsavory business moving in next to the beauty shop and the entire community gets turned upside down. Now Brenda's friends must unite to pull her out of her rut and keep the unwanted sotre out of town. But can Steve and Brenda learn to thaw their chilly marriage and enjoy the hope spring offers?

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Menu Foods Goes To The Dogs

by Bonnie Calhoun

I'll tell ya', you've got to watch every little thing these days. I now have to worry whether some company like Menu Foods is trying to poison my dog. The only reason I say only my dog, is because my cat won't eat wet cat food.

As soon as I heard about the Menu Foods recall, I scurried to their website for a list of the pet food brand names because my dog eats the "cuts and gravy" style food. Poor thing, she's old and not enough teeth left to do much other than gum the food to death!

Now the wild part of the whole story is the famous, or infamous list of brand name pet foods that are manufactured at this same place. There were 50 dog food labels and 42 cat food labels. The companies ranged from the extremely expensive pet food like Iams and Eukanuba, all the way down to the cheap of the cheap, like Cadillac, Price Chopper and Winn Dixie. All at the same place...and you know, all the same formula. So it just goes to show that pet food is basically all the same. Uh, er...hopefully not poisonous!

Thank the Lord, my brand wasn't on there!

Today Menu Foods Income Fund went to the dogs. It apparently went into a free fall nosedive and dropped 45%...just goes to can't mess with people's pets and get away with it, any more than you can mess with people food!

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Leave The Bird Alone

Wanda's dishwasher quit working, so she called a repairman. Since she had to go to work the next day, she told the repairman, "I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you a check."

"Oh, by the way don't worry about my bulldog. He won't bother you. But, whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY circumstances, talk to my bird!" "I REPEAT, DO NOT TALK TO MY BIRD!!!"

When the repairman arrived at Wanda's apartment the following day, he discovered the biggest, meanest looking bulldog he had ever seen. But, just as she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet, watching the repairman go about his work.

The parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his incessant yelling, cursing, and name calling. Finally, the repairman couldn't contain himself any longer and yelled,

"Shut up, you stupid, ugly bird!"

To which the parrot replied, "Get him, Spike!"

Monday, March 19, 2007

Paula Neal Mooney Monetizes

by Bonnie Calhoun

I am excited to be blogging about Paula Mooney today. Not only is this my first paying post for PayPerPost, but it is also to announce that Paula has her money facts all together in this Money Made Online post.

Granted Paula Mooney hasn't reached the same status as John Chow of John, or Jeremy Schoemaker aka ShoeMoney of Auction Ads, or even that of Darren Rowse who runs Chitika and ProBlogger...but she's on her way. She has made $4,375.75 online!

This post is a must read because she lists every single organization that she has dealt with online including the good, the bad, and the monetarily bountiful. The list is treasure trove of the places to start if you want to make money by blogging. Paula Mooney is an up and coming monetizing star...and you will remember, and I will remind you...that I told you first!

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Anna Juggled Too Many Balls

by Bonnie Calhoun

Good Monday! Now notice on the top of the left sidebar, the ad for AssociatedContent. I just joined over there. They pay for you to write what you want. Click it and go check them out. If you're going to be writing, you should be getting paid! And below that is AuctionAds. those are live up-to-the-minute autions going on at Ebay!

Now I've been paying attention to the Anna Nicole Smith ongoing saga...which is freaky in itself since the poor woman is dead. This thing has gained a life of its own, especially since the latest father-to-be has stepped up to the plate.

The man is Frederic Von Anhalt, the husband of Zsa Zsa Gabor...Now that is just wrong! I don't usually speak ill of the dead, but Ack!!! Yuck!!! Anna what were you thinking. *snort* If she answers me, I'm outta' here. I mean, Zsa Zsa was born around 1917. So how old could this guy be?

We have Anna Nicole Smith's six-month-old daughter, Dannielynn, hanging in limbo with no certifiable daddy. I just thank the Lord that the baby is too young to realize what is going on.

Here's the scorecard so far. First we have Howard K. Stern with his, "possession is nine tenths of the law" attitude. Then we have Larry Birkhead, such cutie pie, but now there's some hoopla that his attorney Debra Opri has split from him because she thinks him and Stern are getting too chummy. What's that all about? Next is the Von Anhalt, "I was having a ten year affair with her" guy. And last but not least is Alex Denk, Anna Nicole's chef turned bodyguard who says he was having a two-year secret affair with Anna.

*Snort* like I said, I don't usually speak ill of the dead, but with juggling this many balls in the air at one time, I think the girl died of exhaustion!

Oh...and the least but most certainly not the last word on this...Anna's sister has suggested that Anna used her dead husband J. Howard Marshall's frozen sperm to conceive Dannielynn.

Oh, the tangled webs we weave, when at first we practice to decieve!

Hang out, and scroll down for the joke!

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I, Too, Was Drugged!

God Bless the parents who drugged us

The other day, someone at a store in town read that a Methamphetamine lab had been found in an old farmhouse in the adjoining county and he asked me a rhetorical question, ''Why didn't we have a drug problem when you and I were growing up?''

I replied, I had a drug problem when I was young:

I was drug to church on Sunday morning.
I was drug to church for weddings and funerals
I was drug to family reunions and community socials No matter the weather.
I was drug by my ears when I was disrespectful to adults.
I was also drug to the woodshed when I disobeyed my parents, told a lie, brought home a bad report card, did not speak with respect, spoke ill of the teacher or the preacher. If I didn't put forth my best effort in everything that was asked of me.

I was drug to the kitchen sink to have my mouth washed out with soap if I uttered a profanity.
I was drug out to pull weeds in mom's Garden and flower beds and cockleburs out of dad's fields.
I was drug to the homes of family, friends, and neighbors to help out some poor soul who had no one to mow the yard, repair the clothesline, or chop some firewood; and, if my mother had ever known that I took a single dime as a tip for this kindness, she would have drug me back to the woodshed.

Those drugs are still in my veins and they affect my behavior in everything I do, say, and think. They are stronger than cocaine, crack, or heroin; and, if today's children had this kind of drug problem, America would be a better place.

God bless the parents who drugged us.

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Friday, March 16, 2007

Monetizing and SEO

We made it to Friday! In our area there's a flood watch AGAIN...*sigh* Conklin is partially submerged as i write, but cheer up...the flooding will end today because the temperature has dropped and the snow has stopped melting and we're expecting 12 to 16 INCHES OF NEW SNOW.....Is winter over yet?

Anyhow, on to the business at hand. I have done a new post over at How Can I Do That on how to keep both your old and new Blogger templates at the same time to facilitate transferring data while not losing your revenue stream!

It's Monetizing time! The first thing you need to do is submit your blog to the search engines. Go over to How Can I Do That and read THIS post.
It will give you all the particulars and a free SEO tool...(Search Engine Optimization). LOL...It's not a dirty word. It teaches you the best words to get the spiders (webcrawlers) to notice you!

Here's a joke to hold you over the weekend!

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Police Car Joke

A man goes to a party and had too much to drink. His friends plead with him to let them take him home.

He says NO -- he only lives a mile away.

About five blocks from the party, the police pull him over. They check his license and ask him to get out of the car and walk the line.

Just as he starts, the police radio blares out a notice of a robbery taking place in a house around the block. The police tell the party animal to stay put, they'll be right back and they run around the corner to the robbery.

The guy waits and waits and finally decides to drive home. When he gets there, he tells his wife he is going to bed, and to tell anyone who might come looking for him that he has the flu and has been in bed all day.

A few hours later the police knock on the door. They ask if Mr. Smith is there and his wife says yes.

They ask to see him and she replies that he is in bed with the flu and has been there all day. The police still have his driver's license.

They ask to see his car and she asks why. They insist on seeing his car, so she takes them to the garage. She opens the door. There sitting in the garage is the police car, with all its lights still flashing.

True story: told by the driver at his first AA meeting.

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This is about THE coolest thing I've seen in a long time! is the book version of Netflix. offers members everything from the latest best sellers to classics in both fiction and non-fiction. The on-line rental service currently consists of over 88,000 audio and paperback titles from 35,200+ authors.

In this day and age of doing everything by computer, this is an awesome service especially for people that too busy to shop and use that as an excuse for not reading. It's so easy! After signing up, browse the Web site and select titles you would like to add to your list.

They automatically ship the number of titles your membership plan allows. The remaining titles on your list will be queued up for future orders. recommends keeping at least 10-15 titles on your list at all times. Can you imaging that...10 to 15 titles always in your que.

And just like Netflix, the faster you send them back...the faster you get more books. As an avid reader, all I can say is, "Cool!"


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Thursday, March 15, 2007

Butt...A New Direction's Thursday. I've got a whole new direction to go into..or onto...or whatever you'd call it! If you've noticed I've joined the Google AdSense program...and a bunch of others that I'll tell you about in coming weeks.

I've decided to monetize my blog...Gasp! You say!...What is that, you say! Well that's easy. I'm going to use my blog to make money! Firstly I was turned onto this guy, John Chow.

He started out 6 months ago to try this monetizing thing as an experiment to see what he could do with it. Go read the post, but to boil it all down to a couple sentences...Well the first month he made $352.40...six month later, in February that just passed, he made $7,011.05. That's right...more that seven thousand dollars.

So I've decided to try this. If I make enough a year to pay for the Christian Writers conferences I want to go to, I'll be happy! But see, I've got an ACE in my that card reference, I know several people that that will freak out *snort*.

My Ace is Paula Mooney! This sista has it all together with this advertising thing. She rocks! I'm calling her my monetizing Guru! She's really taught me a lot about this whole process. And as I learn, I'll pass it on to you. Let's see where I can go, and we'll go together!

Here have a joke!

A man and his wife were working in their garden one day and the man looks over at his wife and says: "Your butt is getting really big, I mean really big. I bet your butt is bigger than the barbecue."

With that he proceeded to get a measuring tape and measure the grill and then went over to where his wife was working and measured his wife's bottom. "Yes, I was right; your butt is two inches wider than the barbecue!!!" The woman chose to ignore her husband.

Later that night in bed, the husband is feeling a little frisky. He makes some advances towards his wife who completely brushes him off. "What's wrong?" he asks. She answers: "Do you really think I'm going to fire up this big-ass grill for one little weenie ?"

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