Thursday, May 27, 2010

1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

3. No one expects you to run--anywhere.

4. People call at 9 pm and ask, did I wake you?

5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

7. Things you buy now won't wear out.

8. You can eat supper at 4 pm.

9. You can live without sex but not your glasses.

10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.

13. You sing along with elevator music.

14. Your eyes won't get much worse.

15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.

17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.

19. You can't remember who sent you this list.

And you notice these are all in Big Print for your convenience.

Facebook and Twitter this to every one you can remember right now!
And Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

by Bonnie S. Calhoun


  1. Unknown said...
    Oh Bonnie--YOu make me laugh. Thank you so much for your quick wit and willingness to share!
    Keep up the God work!
    Angie Vik said...
    I'm a friend of Lori's. She said this was funny and it is. Thanks for a good laugh.
    Yining said...
    Love this! I'm not there yet, but this post is definitely very true! Can I link this post on my blog?
    Bonnie S. Calhoun said... all you want.
    Yining said...
    Thank you!! posted! =)
    quilly said...
    I was laughing -- and then I got to the ones that applied to me. Pft.

    Richard Boost said...
    Love this! I've gone though this and can say that this post is definitely very true! This makes everyone laugh.

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