Sunday, August 22, 2010


Another goodie from the 'ol email bag!

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5.. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the
person died...

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired...

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't
want to have to restart my collection...again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if
I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this - ever.

15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Dang!),
but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. What did you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

19. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys
in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my butt everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!

21. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.

22. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

23. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.

24. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

25. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

26. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

27. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

28. Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber & dumber every year?

29. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

30. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.

31. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

by Bonnie S. Calhoun


  1. Loren said...

    These are great! Would you mind if I posted them on my blog as well??

    Have a blessed week!
    Bonnie S. Calhoun said...
    They were passed on to me thru nan email, so help yourself Loren!
    Susan Stitch said...
    Thanks for the morning laugh! And I'm only laughing coz they are all true for me!!!
    Judy said...
    Hi Bonnie,

    These are very funny! It was great meeting you and attending your workshop on blogging. I haven't started one yet but will soon. You told me that was a way to "build my platform" as a devotional writer and if I want to start an online magazine. I was the African American woman to whom you said, "you are fearfully and wonderfully made, and don't you forget that!" And I said, "Yes mom."

    Thank you for your inspiration. I loved your workshop and will be taking you up on your advice. Take care!

    Judy Riddle
    Bonnie S. Calhoun said...
    *waving* Hi Judy! I'll be glad to help you if you get stuck with Blogger! Yes I do remember you, and yes you are fearfully and wonderfully made!

    God don't make junk :-) We're all awesome!
    Judy said...

    In fact, I'm going to attempt to start my blog tonight after the day is done. I can't wait!

    One question though: I had to set up a google account to leave a comment on your blog. But I'd like to change my user name to just say "Judy." Is that possible? Do you think I should do that? Or keep it professional?

    Bonnie S. Calhoun said...
    Keep your whole name. That will be your internet signature, and helpds to build name recognition. There are a million Judys but only one Judith Riddle!
    Judy said...
    ok thanks!

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