Tuesday, November 18, 2008

by Bonnie Calhoun

Good Tuesday, and with the beginning of the work week, here's some statements that are sure to keep the workplace jumping!

Things You'd Love to Say at Work, but Can't

• How about never? Is never good for you?
• I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
• I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
• Ahhh... I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again...
• I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
• I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't care.
• I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
• Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
• The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
• I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
• And your crybaby whiny-butt opinion would be...?
• Do I look like a people person?
• Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
• If I throw a stick, will you leave?
• I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
• Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?
• Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
• Chaos, panic and disorder - my work here is done.
• How do I set a laser printer to stun?
• I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paycheck


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