Thursday, March 18, 2010

Computer Jokes

Heard by the computer help desk:

A customer couldn't get on the Internet:
Helpdesk: "Are you sure you used the right password?"
Customer: "Yes I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it."
Helpdesk: "Can you tell me what the password was?"
Customer: "Five stars."

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Helpdesk: "What kind of computer do you have?"
Customer: "A white one."

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Customer: "Hi, this is Rose. I can't get my diskette out."
Helpdesk: "Have you tried pushing the button?"
Customer: "Yes, sure, it's really stuck."
Helpdesk: "That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note."
Customer: "No... wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... Sorry..."

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Helpdesk: "Click on the 'My Computer' icon on to the left of the screen."
Customer: "Your left or my left?"

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Helpdesk: "Good day. How may I help you?"
Male customer: "Hello, I can't print."
Helpdesk: "Would you click on start for me and..."
Customer: "Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates, you know!"

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Customer: "Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says, 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says it can't find it."

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Customer: "I have problems printing in red."
Helpdesk: "Do you have a color printer?"
Customer: "Aaaah... Thank you."

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Customer: "My keyboard is not working anymore."
Helpdesk: "Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?"
Customer: "No. I can't get behind the computer."
Helpdesk: "Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back."
Customer: "Okay."
Helpdesk: "Did the keyboard come with you?"
Customer: "Yes."
Helpdesk: "That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?"
Customer: "Yes, there's another one here. Ahh, that one works!"

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Helpdesk: "Your password is the small letter 'a' as in apple, a capital letter 'V' as in Victor, and the number '7'."
Customer: "Is that '7' in capital letters?"

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Helpdesk: "What anti-virus program do you use?"
Customer: "Netscape."
Helpdesk: "That's not an anti-virus program."
Customer: "Oh, sorry... Internet Explorer."

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Customer: "I have a huge problem. A friend has put a screensaver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears!"

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Helpdesk: "How may I help you?"
Customer: "I'm writing my first e-mail."
Helpdesk: "Okay, and what seems to be the problem?"
Customer: "Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?"

Some days there just aughta be a law!
by Bonnie Calhoun

5 Comments:

  1. Jenny said...
    :) Awesome.

    I love computer jokes, we use them all the time at our office, although I can't remember any now I'm trying to think.. :(
    Georgiana said...
    LOL, I notice that you are posting this after our conversation the other night. Hmmm... HAHA!

    OK, here's a funny one that is entirely true. One of the new girls in our store was trying to send a fax. I stopped and showed her what to do. She pushed the button, turned to me, and said, "When they're finished with my page will they send it back?"

    Hee hee! It takes all kinds.
    Bonnie Calhoun said...
    OMG...Georgia that was totally funny! And I was posting it AS we spoke :-)

    I bought a rocking book today all about WordPress!
    Rick @ Resell Rights Ebook Store said...
    I love these technical support jokes. I had a previous job for 5 years at an inbound technical support center. We had the ability to record our calls with the push of a button. We had weekly raffles for the best call.
    Vfrankz said...
    I will be adding more when I get back to school. The vacation is when I will be not spending too much time online =) for once =)

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