Tuesday, January 15, 2008
by Bonnie Calhoun
This is one of the neatest stories you will ever hear. You will know precisely what this little girl is talking about at the end (you'll want to share this one with your loved ones and special friends)!
'Danielle keeps repeating it over and over again. We've been back to this animal shelter at least five times. It has been weeks now since we started all of this,' the mother told the volunteer.
'What is it she keeps asking for?' the volunteer asked.
'Puppy size!' replied the mother.
'Well, we have plenty of puppies, if that's what she's looking for.'
'I know...we have seen most of them,' the mom said in frustration...
Just then Danielle came walking into the office
'Well, did you find one?' asked her mom. 'No, not this time,' Danielle said with sadness in her voice. 'Can we come back on the weekend?'
The two women looked at each other, shook their heads and laughed.
'You never know when we will get more dogs. Unfortunately, there's always a supply,' the volunteer said.
Danielle took her mother by the hand and headed to the door. 'Don't worry, I'll find one this weekend,' she said.
Over the next few days both mom and dad had long conversations with her.
They both felt she was being too particular. 'It's this weekend or we're not looking any more,' Dad finally said in frustration.
'We don't want to hear anything more about puppy size either,' Mom added.
Sure enough, they were the first ones in the shelter on Saturday morning. By now Danielle knew her way around, so she ran right for the section that housed the smaller dogs.
Tired of the routine, mom sat in the small waiting room at the end of the first row of cages. There was an observation window so you could see the animals during times when visitors weren't permitted.
Danielle walked slowly from cage to cage, kneeling periodically to take a closer look. One by one, the dogs were brought out and she held each one.
One by one she said, 'Sorry, you're not the one.'
It was the last cage on this last day in search of the perfect pup.
The volunteer opened the cage door and the child carefully picked up the dog and held it closely. This time she took a little longer.
'Mom, that's it! I found the right puppy! He's the one! I know it!' she screamed with joy. 'It's the puppy size!'
'But it's the same size as all the other puppies you held over the last few weeks,' Mom said.
'No not size... the sighs. When I held him in my arms, he sighed,' she said.
'Don't you remember? When I asked you one day what love is, you told me love depends on the sighs of your heart. The more you love, the bigger the sigh!'
The two women looked at each other for a moment. Mom didn't know whether to laugh or cry. As she stooped down to hug the child, she did a little of both.
'Mom, every time you hold me, I sigh. When you and Daddy come home from work and hug each other, you both sigh. I knew I would find the right puppy if it sighed when I held it in my arms,' she said.
Then holding the puppy up close to her face she said, 'Mom, he loves me. I heard the sighs of his heart!'
Close your eyes for a moment and think about the love that makes you sigh. I not only find it in the arms of my loved ones, but in the caress of a sunset, the kiss of the moonlight and the gentle brush of cool air on a hot day.
They are the sighs of God! Take the time to stop and listen; you will be surprised at what you hear. 'Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.'
May each of you feel and hear the sighs of God...
Friday, January 11, 2008
by Bonnie Calhoun
This one is courtesy of my friend Ric!
This is one of the best explanations of why God allows pain and suffering ...
A man went to a barbershop to have his hair cut and his beard trimmed.
As the barber began to work, they began to have a good conversation.
They talked about so many things and various subjects.
When they eventually touched on the subject of God, the barber said, "I don't believe that God exists."
"Why do you say that?" asked the customer.
"Well, you just have to go out in the street to realize that God doesn't exist," said the barber, "Tell me, if God exists, would there be so many sick people? Would there be abandoned children? If God existed, there would be neither suffering nor pain. I can't imagine a loving God who would allow all of these things."
The customer thought for a moment, but didn't respond because he didn't want to start an argument.
The barber finished his job and the customer left the shop.
Just after he left the barbershop, he saw a man in the street with long, stringy, dirty hair and an untrimmed beard.
He looked dirty and unkempt. The customer turned back and entered the barber shop again and he said to the barber, "You know what? Barbers do not exist."
"How can you say that?" asked the surprised barber. "I am here, and I am a barber. And I just worked on you!"
"No!" the customer exclaimed. "Barbers don't exist because if they did, there would be no people with dirty long hair and untrimmed beards, like that man outside."
"Ah, but barbers DO exist! That's what happens when people do not come to me," said the barber.
"Exactly!" affirmed the customer, "That's the point! God, too, DOES exist! That's what happens when people don't go to Him and don't look to Him for help. That's why there's so much pain and suffering in the world!"
BE BLESSED & BE A BLESSING TO OTHERS !!!!!!! Have a great weekend!
Thursday, January 10, 2008
by Bonnie Calhoun
Now I've heard of everything. Two guys in New York City, reminicent of the movie "Weekend At Bernie's" wheeled their dead friend (in an office chair) across midtown Manhattan to cash his social security check. Talk about idiots! *snort-giggle*....they should have taken a cab!
ROFLOL...here's the whole story: http://news.aol.com/story/_a/pair-brings-corpse-to-store-to-cash/20080109150909990001?ncid=NWS00010000000001
Here is a myriad of other things that will also make you go hummmmmmm, So enjoy!
Why, Why, Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?
Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough money?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that some thing new to eat will have materialized?
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the
vacuum one more chance?
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
And my FAVORITE......
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends - - if
they're okay, then it's you. ROFLOL
Wednesday, January 09, 2008
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Marilynn Griffith is mom to a tribe, wife to a deacon and proof that God gives second chances. While best known for her colorful novels about friendship, family and faith, Marilynn is also a speaker and nonfiction writer.Her nonfiction has been included in CHICKEN SOUP FOR THE CHRISTIAN WOMAN'S SOUL and several other devotionals and magazines. Currently, Marilynn is editor of the SISTAHFAITH:BELIEVING BEYOND SHAME anthology. She is also the founder of Faithchick.com, a blog for faith fiction readers.
Marilynn is the author of six novels dealing with issues such as teen pregnancy, AIDS, abstinence, stress relief, single parenting and marriage. Her recent fiction titles include TANGERINE and IF THE SHOE FITS.
Marilynn has served as Vice President and Publicity Officer of American Christian Fiction Writers. She speaks to youth, women and writers about believing beyond boundaries and daring to reach dreams.
Marilynn lives in Florida with her husband and seven children whom she taught at home for seven years. When not chasing toddlers, helping with homework or trying to find her husband a clean shirt, she can be found scribbling furiously on her next novel.
To book Marilynn for media interviews, speaking engagements, Serious Fun fiction parties or book club call-ins, please contact her thru her WEBSITE.
ABOUT THE BOOK
Superwoman doesn't live here!I marry a gorgeous executive, have a baby, lose all the weight (most of it), and move to a fine house in the suburbs with a welcoming new church. Wait...did I say welcoming?
One teeny waaah! and new mothers and their crying babies are exiled to a separate room. At least there's some enlightening conversation. Like about my husband and issues I didn't even know about!
And then there's my aptly named mother-in-law, Queen Elizabeth, who can't stand me.
I'm about to lose my mind! So it's high time for a visit to the Sassy Sistahood for some much-needed advice about men, marriage and motherhood!
Tuesday, January 08, 2008
by Bonnie Calhoun
It's Tuesday...people are voting in New Hampshire, Hillary was weeping (I don't know if that exactly makes her look presidential), and the world goes on!
Well this is a good example of just what exercise will get for you...so knock it off!
Walking can add minutes to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $5000 per month.
My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. Now she's 97 years old and we don't know where the hell she is.
The only reason I would take up exercising is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven’t lost a pound. Guess you actually have to go.
I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing.
I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.
The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.
If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.
And last but not least: I don't exercise because it makes the ice jump right out of my glass.
Monday, January 07, 2008
by Bonnie Calhoun
Good Monday morning... and my New Year's resolution is to get back in shape...Don't know what that looks like, but I'll find it! This didn't happen to me, but I know every woman out there can identify with it!
If you read this without laughing out loud, there is something wrong with you. This is dedicated to every woman who has ever attempted to get into a regular workout routine.
Dear Diary...
For New Years, this year, my husband (THE DEAR) purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me.
Although I am still in great shape since playing on my high school tennis team, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try.
I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Bruce, who identified himself as a 26 year old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear.
My husband (THE SWEET DEAR) seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started.
The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.
Monday:
Started my day at 6:00 am. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Bruce waiting for me.
He is something of a Greek god - with blond hair, dancing eyes and a dazzling white smile....... Woo Hoo, let's get going!!
Bruce gave me a tour and showed me the machines.
He took my pulse after five minutes on the treadmill. He was alarmed that my pulse was so fast, but I attributed it to standing next to him in his awesome Lycra aerobic shorts.
I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which he conducted his aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring!
Bruce was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my gut was already aching from holding it in the entire time that he was around.
WOW! This is going to be a fantastic week!!
Tuesday:
I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door.
Bruce made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air - then he put weights on it. My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile and Bruce's beautiful rewarding smile made it all worthwhile.
I feel GREAT!! It's s a whole new life for me.
Wednesday:
The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over the damn brush.
I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn't try to steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot.
Bruce was becoming impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered all of the other club members.
His voice then became a little too perky for early in the morning and when he scolds, he gets this nasally whine that is VERY, VERY, annoying.
My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Bruce put me on the stair monster.
Why the hell would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators?
Bruce told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. He mumbled some other stuff too.......but who listened.
Thursday:
Bruce was waiting for me with his vampire-like teeth exposed as his thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl.
I couldn't help being a half an hour late, it took me that long to tie my fr***ing shoes.
Bruce took me to work out with dumbbells. When he was not looking, I ran and hid in the men's room. He sent Lars to find me, then, as my punishment, he put me on the rowing machine which I sank.
Friday:
I hate that @#*!$# Bruce more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of this world.
Stupid, skinny, anemic little cheerleader fruit. If there was a part of my body that I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat the crap out of him with it. Bruce wanted me to work on my triceps.
I don't have any triceps!!
And if he didn't want dents in the floor, he shouldn't have handed me the *&%#(#&**!!@* barbells or anything else that weighed more than a sandwich.
The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition teacher. Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director?
Saturday:
Bruce left a message on my answering machine in his grating, shrilly, girly voice wondering why I did not show up today.
Just hearing him made me want to smash the machine with my planner.
However, I lacked the strength to even pick up the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight hours of the Weather Channel.
Sunday:
I'm having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go and thank GOD that this week is over.
I will also pray that next year my husband (THE @#%$&!*) will choose a gift for me that is fun...like a root canal or perhaps a hysterectomy.
Friday, January 04, 2008
by Bonnie Calhoun
TGIF to ya'!!
WARNING: PUT DOWN ALL SNORTABLE LIQUIDS BEFORE PROCEEDING!!! Don't say I didn't warn you. I'm not paying for new keyboards!
My joke..snicker, snicker...of the Day!
Toilet Cleaning Instructions :
1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl.
2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.
3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids. You may need to stand on the lid.
4. The cat will self agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.
5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "power-wash" and rinse".
6. Have someone open the front door of your home. Be sure that there are no people between the bathroom and the front door.
7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.
8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom, and run outside where he will dry himself off.
9. Both the commode and the cat will be sparkling clean.
Tuesday, January 01, 2008
by Bonnie Calhoun
Okay check it out! I made my first video book trailer on YouTube. This is the novel that my agent is shopping for me right now....Touched By Fire!
by Bonnie Calhoun
Happy New Year! It is January 1st, time for the FIRST Day Blog Tour! (Join our alliance! Click the button!) The FIRST day of every month we will feature an author and his/her latest book's FIRST chapter!
and her book:
Abandoned Identity
Evergreen Press (AL) (August 1, 2007)
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Hooray! Tamara is one of our very own FIRST members!She resides with her husband, Walter, and their children, John, Christopher, and Jennifer, at Hume Lake Christian Camps in the Sequoia National Forest. They have served on full-time staff and ministered at Hume for 13 years.
Tamara manages one of the retail stores at Hume Lake, which serves thousands of kids visiting the conference center on a daily basis.
Not only does she write, she is also an avid reader and enjoys other hobbies such as scrapbooking, designing greeting cards and invitations, and enjoying God's creation from her from porch.
AND NOW...THE FIRST CHAPTER:
The young, blond woman stepped off the elevator, rushed past the receptionist, and quickly headed down the hallway.
“Jennifer, Mr. Lynch is looking for you,” Doris called after her.
Jennifer didn’t stop to acknowledge the message. She didn’t have time. She could hear the warning in Doris’ tone. Mr. Lynch was looking for her, knowing she was late returning from lunch. This could very well be her last day at Weissler and Schuler.
If you want to read the rest of the chapter, go HERE
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