Saturday, July 15, 2006

25 Ways to Annoy People

Stop by the Bible Study Blog where I post. On Saturdays I give a Lesson from the Land of the Bible. Presently I'm discussing scientific proof that the Bible is accurate.

Here...this will give you something to accomplish for the weekend....How to get a black eye in 25 easy lessons...LOL..see ya'll on Monday.

1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.

2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."

5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

6. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen.

7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.

8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.

9. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub".

10. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies.

11. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.

12. Sniffle incessantly.

13. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.

14. Name your dog "Dog."

15. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

16. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."

17. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."

18. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace".

19. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."

20. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol.

21. Practice making fax and modem noises.

22. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.

23. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

24. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.

25. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person."


9 Comments:

  1. The Curmudgeon's Rant said...
    The sad thing is, I do all these annoying things really well.
    Rulan said...
    lol. Funny. Bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep bip bip bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep bip bip bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep bip bip bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep

    Okay, I'll stop. ;)weeeeeeeeeeeeeeer
    Bernita said...
    Must hide these from my husband.
    He has enough ideas already.
    Ballpoint Wren said...
    Holy smokes, Bonnie, I think my kids wrote this.
    Domino said...
    Hi Bonnie!

    I love your blog. I should've found it much sooner. The serious parts are good and the funny parts are hilarious.

    I'm laughing - in a robot voice while snifling incessantly and making fax noises.

    Naw, these things don't annoy people. How could you think that?

    ;D
    MissWrite said...
    Some of those things will not only annoy everyone you come in contact with, they might get you committed.

    Funny stuff. Na-na-na-na-na-na-BAT MANNNNNN!
    Bonnie Calhoun said...
    You guys are so funny! I should post ya'll as an actual post...LOL

    Miss Write...you are right...Bwa hah hah!
    Shelley said...
    ROFL! Those are great Bonnie!
    serge said...
    hi bonnie
    I really like your statements i tried almost all of them on my dad and he went cyco

Post a Comment