by Bonnie Calhoun

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Aughhh! I thought it was Friday, yet it's only Thursday *sigh*

Progressing With Time...

2000 B.C. - Here, eat this root.

1000 A.D. - That root is heathen. Here, say this prayer.

1850 A.D. - That prayer is superstition. Here, drink this potion.

1940 A.D. - That potion is snake oil. Here, swallow this pill.

1985 A.D. - That pill is ineffective. Here, take this antibiotic.

2000 A.D. - That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root.


Four Catholic Ladies...

Four Catholic ladies were having coffee. The first Catholic woman tells her friends "My son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'."

The second Catholic woman chirps, "My son is a bishop. Whenever he walks into a room, the people call him 'Your Grace'."

This third Catholic crone says, "My son is a cardinal. Whenever he walks into a room, people say 'Your Eminence'."

Since the fourth Catholic woman sips her coffee in silence, the first three women give her this subtle "Well...?" And she said "My son is a gorgeous, 6' 2" hard bodied stripper. When he walks into a room, people say, "Oh, my God..."

And last but not least...


Do you know the punishment for bigamy?? Two mothers-in-law.

A beggar walked up to a well dressed woman shopping on Rodeo Drive and said, "I haven't eaten anything in four days." She looked at him and said, "My God, I wish I had your willpower."

The last fight was my fault! My wife asked, "What's on the TV?" I said, "Dust!"

I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months? I don't like to interrupt her.

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.