by Bonnie Calhoun

Here are two jokes for the weekend!

Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on gurneys next to each other outside the operating room.

The first kid leans over and asks, "What are you in here for?"

The second kid says, "I'm in here to get my tonsils out and I'm a little nervous."

The first kid says, "You've got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they give you lots of Jell-O and ice cream. It's a breeze."

The second kid then asks, "What are you here for?"

The first kid says," A circumcision."

The second kid says, "Whoa, Good luck buddy! I had that done when I was born. Couldn't walk for a year."

******************

An elderly man in Louisiana had owned a large farm for several years.
He had a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming,
so he fixed it up nice -- picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some
apple and peach trees.

One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he
hadn't been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five
gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.

As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with
glee. As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women
skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence
and they all went to the deep end. One of the women shouted to him,
"We're not coming out until you leave!"

The old man frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim
naked or make you get out of the pond naked." Holding the bucket up he
said, "I'm here to feed the alligator."

Moral: Some old men can still think fast.