Friday, April 13, 2007
Mourners arrive at the Nineveh Presbyterian Church for cartoonist Johnny Hart's funeral on Friday morning.
In lieu of flowers, memorial contributions in memory of Johnny Hart may be made to the Nineveh Presbyterian Church Building Fund, P.O. Box 115, Nineveh, N.Y. 13813.
by Bonnie Calhoun
Egads....It's Friday the 13th!
Well, Imus has been fired by CBS. He met with the Rutgers Womens Basketball team at the New Jersey Governor's mansion. Details of that meeting have not been released yet. I feel like something light and funny! Have a great weekend!
Well this is a good example of just what exercise will get for you...so knock it off!
Walking can add minutes to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $5000 per month.
My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. Now she's 97 years old and we don't know where the hell she is.
The only reason I would take up exercising is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven’t lost a pound. Guess you actually have to go.
I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing.
I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.
The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.
If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.
And last but not least: I don't exercise because it makes the ice jump right out of my glass.
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Thursday, April 12, 2007
by Bonnie Calhoun
Okay my brain is fried! Sanjaya is hanging on for dear life. I am beyond incredulous. The only thing that has brought me any relief, is that Don Imus has been fired by MSNBC.
They aren't going to carry the simulcast of the Imus Radio Show anymore, but NBC is still holding to the two week suspension. I've heard opinions from both sides...the pro-Imus argument: He donates millions to charity and runs a camp for young cancer patients and some of those cancer patients are black. Therefore, he is a good person and cannot be racist.
My opinion goes like this: a man can beat his wife and still give away money to women's causes therefore making him a generous wife-beater. The same logic applies to Imus!
I need a joke....this one is courtesy of my buddy Bonnie Wren
A Texan is drinking in a New York bar when, he gets a call on his cell phone.
He hangs up, grinning from ear to ear, and orders a round of drinks for everybody in the bar announcing his wife has produced a typical Texas baby boy weighing 25 pounds.
Nobody can believe that any new baby can weigh in at 25 pounds, but the Texan just shrugs, "That's about average back home, folks, like I said, my boy's a typical Texas baby boy." Congratulations showered him from all around, amid many exclamations of "WOW!". One woman actually fainted due to sympathy pains.
Two weeks later, he returns to the bar. The bartender says, "Say, you're the father of that typical Texas baby that weighed 25 pounds at birth. Everybody has been making bets about how big he'd be in two weeks. So how much does he weigh now?"
The proud father answers, "Seventeen pounds."
The bartender is puzzled, concerned, and a little suspicious. "What happened? He already weighed 25 pounds the day he was born!"
The Texas father takes a slow swig from his beer, wipes his lips on his shirt sleeve, leans into the bartender and proudly says, "...had him circumcised."
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Wednesday, April 11, 2007
is introducing
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: 
Brandilyn Collins is the bestselling author of Violet Dawn, Web Of Lies, Dead of Night, Stain of Guilt, Brink of Death, and Eyes of Elisha just to name a few.
Brandilyn and her family divide their time between the California Bay Area and Coeur d'Alene, Idaho.
She also maintains an informative blog called Forensics and Faith where she daily dispenses wisdom on writing, life, and the Christian book industry.
ABOUT THE BOOK:
The figure remained still as stone. Leslie couldn't even detect a breath.
Spider fingers teased the back of her neck.
Leslie's feet rooted to the pavement. She dropped her gaze to the driveway, seeking...what? Spatters of blood? Footprints? She saw nothing. Honed through her recent coverage of crime scene evidence, the testimony as last month's trial, the reporter in Leslie spewed warnings: Notice everything, touch nothing...
Leslie Brymes hurries out to her car on a typical workday morning...and discovers a dead body inside.
Why was the corpse left for her to find? And what is the meaning of the message pinned to its chest?
In Coral Moon, the senseless murder of a beloved Kanner Lake citizen spirals the small Idaho town into a terrifying glimpse of spiritual forces beyond our world. What appears true seems impossible.
OR IS IT?
And as Brandilyn would say...
Presently this Kanner Lake Series of books has its own character blog called Scenes and Beans. Stop by and visit the folks from Kanner Lake!
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
by Bonnie Calhoun
First Howard Stern gets me riled up. Now Don Imus has taken his place as man most likely to need my prayers so that I don't contemplate running him over with a speeding vehicle.
After a career of cranky insults, radio star Don Imus was fighting for his job Monday following one joke that by his own admission went “way too far.”
At least there is the satisfaction that it was announced today that he has been suspended for two weeks. So bear up you Imus junkies, MSNBC has announced that the simulcast for Imus In The Morning will be suspended for two weeks!
On Friday, he apologized on air. And Monday, he went on Al Sharpton's radio talk show, attempting to make amends. Sharpton had many questions. Imus, trying to explain the nature of his show, told Sharpton that he often mixes humor with news and current events and added that it sometimes does not work.
"Our agenda is to try and be funny," Imus told Sharpton. "And sometimes we go too far. This time we definitely went too far." Imus then went on to add that he didn't intend to offend anyone with his comments and wasn't thinking in racial terms.
"I wasn't even thinking racial," he said. "I was thinking a West Side Story thing. One side is tough; the other side is not."
And after hearing his contrite stance on "...not thinking racial.." Do you want to now know what the offending statement was? He referred to members of the Rutgers women’s basketball team as “nappy-headed hos.” Now tell me how that could be construed as anything BUT racial.
Some people just have no couth! And I add Don Imus to that list!
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Monday, April 09, 2007
by Bonnie Calhoun
With a heavy heart, I report today that a great artist and neighbor has passed into the arms of our Lord Jesus.
Johnny Hart died on Saturday at his home, up the road from me, in Nineveh (I live in Harpursville). He was 76 years old, and died doing what he loved to do best. His wife Bobby said that Johnny had a stroke and died at his storyboard.
Johhny Hart was best known for his B.C. and Wizard of ID comic strips. As Johnny became more entrenched in his career, many of his cartoons began to address religious themes. This was merely a a reflection of his own deepening Christian faith and it dismayed some readers and while delighting others (myself among this delighted group).
Johnny Hart lent his B.C. characters to promote many of our local agencies and activities, including the old Broome Dusters hockey team, BC Transit (our county bus system), Broome County Parks (all of our parks have his green grinning dinosaur in their logos and signs).
Johnny also designed the trophy for the professional golf tournament which became the B.C. Open. The bronzed trophy given to B.C. Open champions, depicts a caveman following through on his golf swing after hacking out a divot.
B.C. also participated in the nation's space program. In 1972, Hart received a public service award from NASA for outstanding contributions.
"B.C." and "Wizard of Id" will continue. Family members have been helping produce the strips for years, and they have an extensive computer archive of Hart's drawings to work with.
Johnny Hart is survived by his wife, Bobby, and two daughters Patti and Perri.
Funeral services will be held at 11 a.m. Friday at the Nineveh Presbyterian Church, 2997 N.Y. Route 7, with Rev. Emrys Tyler, pastor, officiating. Burial will be in Nineveh Presbyterian Cemetery.
The family will receive friends from 4 to 8 p.m. Wednesday and 4 to 8 p.m. Thursday at the Osterhoudt-Madden Funeral Home, 69-71 Maple St., Harpursville. In lieu of flowers, memorial contributions in memory of Johnny Hart may be made to the Nineveh Presbyterian Church Building Fund, P.O. Box 115, Nineveh, N.Y. 13813.
Sunday, April 08, 2007
Saturday, April 07, 2007
by Bonnie Calhoun
Well kids, here it is almost Easter, and you know what that means? Yep, you got it, time for the Easter blonde!
Three blondes arrive at the gates of heaven where St. Peter informs them that they must tell him what Easter is, before they can enter.
The first blonde says, "Easter is a holiday when they have a big feast and we give thanks and eat turkey."
St. Peter said, "Noooo!!" and banishes her to hell.
The second blonde says, "Easter is when we celebrate Jesus' birthday and we exchange gifts."
St. Peter said, "Nooooo!!!" and also banishes her to hell.
The third blonde says, "Well I know what Easter is."
St. Peter replies, "Please, tell me!"
She says, "Easter is a Christian holiday that coincides with the Jewish festival of Passover. Jesus was having the Passover feast with his disciples when He was betrayed by Judas and arrested by the Romans. The Romans crucified Him on the cross, where He died. His disciples took His body and buried Him in a tomb behind a very large boulder."
St. Peter smiled and said, "Verrrry good!!!"
The blonde then continued, "Now every year the Jews roll away the boulder and Jesus comes out. If He sees his shadow, we have six more weeks of basketball."
St. Peter fainted!!!!
Happy Easter to All!!!
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by Bonnie Calhoun
Okay, now check this out! Yes, I'm happily married, but I have a lot of single friends, that I would love to have happily married...so that's why this promo!
I found this Black Dating Service. When I was in the dating pit, there was no such thing, so to me this is very intriguing! Their site says that it is the premiere ebony dating site on the internet, with thousands of ebony singles. (LOL...that means black folk, for my friends from other countries that don't get the lingo!)
It's FREE to join. The front page of profiles, shows good sized photos, and conscise blurbs on each person, including where they live, so you don't wind up with a long-distance date by accident.
*Snort* I'm going to have to get some of my single friends to go and try out Black Dating Service...notice I said my SINGLE friends...don't any of you ring-bearers go over there! And for those that go...when you find a date report back and let us all know how it went!
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Friday, April 06, 2007
by Bonnie Calhoun
Wow! Nina Wang died...suspiciously! I read about her in her regaling, infamous context a few years ago. She was like THE richest woman in Asia! How you might ask?
Well I don't mean to talk ill of the dead...*snort*!
Let's just say Nina O'le girl was preeettty busy. She comandeered control of her husband's Hong Kong realestate empire. That was one long, drawn out legal battle. Why? I'm glad you asked...Hubs disappeared! So naturally everybody says Nina Wang had her significant other off-ed for his money! Then there was charges of forgery and adultry. All the while it was reported that she had an explicit fondness for opium.
And there's enough pictures of the old lady in short skirts to burn out your eyeballs. She was famous for wearing REAL bobby socks, towering patent-leather platform shoes, T-shirts adorned with silver lamé hearts, ultra-micro-miniskirts of red vinyl and multiple pigtails (usually three of them) that trailed behind her like the tails of a wind-borne kite. She sometimes dyed the pigtails — blue, on one occasion — to match whatever outfit she happened to have on.
Nina Wang came to international attention in 1990, when her husband was kidnapped for the second time. Mr. Wang was first kidnapped in 1983. He was released unharmed eight days later after Mrs. Wang paid a ransom of $11 million. (On his release, Mr. Wang, known as a consummate businessman, “berated his wife for paying so much so soon,” Asiaweek reported.)
After Mr. Wang was kidnapped again in 1990, what followed read like the plot of a James Bond novel. Although Mrs. Wang was reported to have paid slightly more than half of the kidnappers’ $60 million ransom demand, Mr. Wang was never seen again. *Snort* that'll teach him to berate her!
Seriously Nina Wang's life reads like a James Bond novel! LOL!
Hrmp!...69 years old, and worth $4.2 billion with a "B", and now she's worm food. Just goes to show, there are no armoured cars behind hearses!
Then again maybe this joke is an example of her husband???
THE ROMANTIC HUSBAND
Husband and wife in bed together.
She feels his hand rubbing her shoulder.
She: "Oh, that feels good."
His hand moves to her breast.
She: "Gee, honey, that feels wonderful."
His hand moves to her leg.
She: "Oh, honey, don't stop."
But he stops.
She: "Why did you stop?"
He: "I found the remote."
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