Thursday, September 06, 2007

Thursday Funnies

by Bonnie Calhoun

A preacher, a priest and a rabbi when fishing on a lake one day, but the fish weren't biting.

The preacher said, "I can't take anymore of this. I'm going to go fix up the fire."

Having said this he stepped out of th boat and walked on the water to the shore.

Shortly afterwards the priest said he was also tired of sitting there and not getting even the least suggestion of a bite on his line.

He got up, walked on the water to shore and joined the preacher.

Now the rabbi watched all this in amazement, but then reasoned, "If they can do it so can I."

Convincing himself that nothing made these other men special so he should also be able to walk on the water he stepped out of the boat and immediately splashed about as he sank in the water.

The priest turned to the preacher and said, "You think we should tell him where the stones are?"

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A Christian college student came to a point of indecision regarding what he thought was preparation for the ministry. More and more he just didn't feel like that's what God wanted him to do, but he didn't want to step out of God's will.

So taking out his Bible he flipped it open and stuck his finger randomly on the page and read, what he was hoping, was the will of the Lord.

The verse said, "And Judas went out and hung himself."

The student thought that's not right. There's no way that would be God's will for him, so he tried it again, this time picking a different page, a different spot on the page and read these words, "Go thou and do likewise."

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A missionary to Africa was asked about his call and replied that God had called him vocally. What he didn't know all these years was that while he was in the chapel praying for God's will, one of his buddies was in the vent overhead and began calling out loudly, "Africa!" This really happened!!!

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An elderly Catholic woman entered the church to pray.

She lit a candle and knelt before the image of Mary. Soon a gently voice filled the sanctuary, "Yes my daughter. What is it you want?"

Silence.

The woman didn't respond at all.

Again the voice pleaded with her to tell her what it was she wanted and again she remained silent.

A third time the voice called out to her and she shouted back, "Will you'a shudda up. I'm a talking to your Mama!"


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And of course the best joke of the day is looking in the mirror and realizing that God loved me. He must be either crazy or know something about me that I don't know!



More 3-D street art by Julian Beever!


1 Comment:

  1. Laura @ Laura Williams' Musings said...
    Too funny!!


    btw, I have something for you over on my blog.

    Click here

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