Monday, November 13, 2006

Home Remedies

Good Monday to ya' all! I hope everyone had a great weekend, and if you didn't...there's always next weekend!

I could not pass up this list. It made me snort coffee! I procured this from my blogging friend Dennie McDonald! God bless her mom!

Amazingly simple home remedies
(these are funnies - PLEASE DO NOT ATTEMPT !!!- BLOGGER DENNIE OR BONNIE ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR DAMAGE TO ONE'S PERSON )

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage will be almost instantly removed.

2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.

4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.

5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.

7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget all about the toothache.

8. Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are: You only need two tools - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

9. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

10. Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.

Thoughts for the day: If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance, so be really nice to your family and friends; you never know when you might need them to empty your bed pan.

6 Comments:

  1. Rel said...
    Very funny Bonnie - as a lawyer, I liked the disclaimer!!
    Bernita said...
    #10 is really, really good advice.
    Especially BEFORE reading Bonnie's blog....
    Dennie McDonald said...
    still funny .... LOL
    jel said...
    Hi Bonnie ,

    #8 is true!
    Gordon Cloud said...
    Was #8 supposed to be funny? 'Cause I live by that maxim.

    The rest of them were really funny.
    Buffy said...
    I really could write a book about number nine.

Post a Comment