Well good Monday! I hope everyone had a great holiday weekend, ate too much turkey, took too many naps, and generally had so much fun that you hated to go back to work today.

Since, in most cases, the woman of the house did the cooking this holiday, you guys aught to take heed to the following passage!


The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when
all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his own
hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license
in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, co-worker or significant other!

They are all rated in one of the following four categories.

DANGEROUS:
SAFER:
SAFEST:
ULTRA SAFE:

What's for dinner?
Can I help you with dinner?
Where would you like to go for dinner?
Here, have some wine.

Are you wearing that?
Wow, you sure look good in brown!
WOW! Look at you!
Here, have some wine

What are you so worked up about?
Could we be overreacting?
Here's my paycheck.
Here, have some wine.

Should you be eating that?
You know, there are a lot of apples left.
Can I get you a piece of chocolate with that?
Here, have some wine.

What did you DO all day?
I hope you didn't over-do it today.
I've always loved you in that robe!
Here, have some more wine.


12 Things PMS Stands For:

1 Pass My Shotgun

2 Psychotic Mood Shift

3 Perpetual Munching Spree

4 Puffy Mid-Section

5 People Make me Sick

6 Provide Me with Sweets

7 Pardon My Sobbing

8 Pimples May Surface

9 Pass My Sweatpants

10. Plainly; Men Suck

11. Pack My Stuff

12. Potential Murder Suspect

Pass this on to all of your hormonal friends and those who might need a good laugh

...Or men who need a warning.

And remember: Money talks .... but Chocolate SINGS!!!