Friday, March 03, 2006

SIGNS, BUMPER STICKERS and HOUSEWORK

Wheeee! I got a snowday for Thursday....but alas today is Friday. Hey, TGIF! Tomorrow I get to sleep in. Gosh, I've got a tough life! ROFLOL!

Let's see what little tidbit is hiding in the Joke Vault!

The head of a small industrial company posted DO IT NOW signs all around his office and plant in hopes of getting better results from his workers.

Some weeks later, when asked why he was removing the slogans, he said, "It worked too well: the bookkeeper skipped with $20,000; the chief clerk eloped with the best secretary I've ever had; three salesmen asked for raises; and the workers in the factory joined the union and are out on strike."

Bumper Stickers You Would Like To See:

Impotence..Nature's way of saying "No hard feelings,"

Everyone has a photographic memory...some just don't have any film.

Save your breath...You'll need it to blow up your date.

Your ridiculous little opinion has been noted.

I used to have a handle on life...but it broke off.

Guys...just because you have one, doesn't mean you have to be one.

Some people just don't know how to drive...I call these people "Everybody But Me."

Don't like my driving? Then quit watching me.

If you can read this...I can slam on my brakes and sue you.

Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

Try not to let your mind wander...It is too small and fragile to be out by itself.

Hang up and drive!!

And The Number One Bumper Sticker you'd Like To See!!

Welcome to America...now speak English

And finally....for my lady friends...sorry Ric...you don't count unless you do the housework!

HOW TO START YOUR DAY WITH A POSITIVE OUTLOOK
1. Open a new file in your PC.

2. Name it "Housework."

3. Send it to the RECYCLE BIN

4. Empty the RECYCLE BIN

5. Your PC will ask you, "Are you sure you want to delete Housework permanently?"

6. Answer calmly, "Yes," and press the mouse button firmly....

7. Feel better?

OH Yeah I feel much better!

Thought of The Day


I don't have a solution but I admire the problem.

9 Comments:

  1. Bernita said...
    Priceless, again!
    Especially, "Guys, just because you have one..."
    James Goodman said...
    Funny stuff, Bonnie! :D
    Ric said...
    Very funny, Bonnie, as always.
    Dennie McDonald said...
    good funnies!!! (snorted three or four times)
    jel said...
    LOL:)
    that was very funny, thanks Bonnie
    I have learned not to have my coffee in hand when I read your post! saves on the PC :)

    you have a great day!
    janice
    Rulan said...
    lol. I love the office "Did it now" signs. That was my favorite.
    Thanks for the laughs.
    E. Ann Bardawill said...
    No hard feelings?

    **S N O R K **
    Dana Y. T. Lin said...
    LOVE the Housework advice. Gonna go try it now.
    Rulan said...
    Oops, lol. I see I made a typo. It should have said... "Do it now" not "Did it now."
    Silly me.

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