Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Sheesh...Tuesday here I come! **tomorrow's hump day...LOL**
Well, I frogged around all night and now it's 2 AM...at least 24 was good....I'm waiting for Chloe to pick up an assualt rifle and take out some bad guys again...Hail Chloe...love the look in her eyes!
Okay...now that I'm getting over Donny breaking up with his girlfriend...sniff, sniff...No I'm not...that's a lie! Donny, don't think you're gonna' get a free ride on this one....No wonder I didn't see you after church on Sunday!
Okay while I'm thinking of ways to torture him, let's have some funnies! Who says the Brits don't have a sense of humor? ROFLOL!
COLLECTED FROM BRITISH NEWSPAPERS
1) Commenting on a complaint from a Mr. Arthur Purdey about a large gas bill, a spokesman for North West Gas said, "We agree it was rather high for the time of year. It's possible Mr. Purdey has been charged for the gas used up during the explosion that destroyed his house." (The Daily Telegraph)
2) Irish police are being handicapped in a search for a stolen van, because they cannot issue a description. It's a Special Branch vehicle and they don't want the public to know what it looks like. (The Guardian)
3) A young girl who was blown out to sea on a set of inflatable teeth was rescued by a man on an inflatable lobster. A coast guard spokesman commented, "This sort of thing is all too common". (The Times)
4) At the height of the gale, the harbourmaster radioed a coastguard and asked him to estimate the wind speed. He replied he was sorry, but he didn't have a gauge. However, if it was any help, the wind had just blown his Land Rover off the cliff. (Aberdeen Evening Express)
5) Mrs. Irene Graham of Thorpe Avenue, Boscombe, delighted the audience with her reminiscence of the German prisoner of war who was sent each week to do her garden. He was repatriated at the end of 1945, she recalled. "He'd always seemed a nice friendly chap, but when the crocuses came up in the middle of our lawn in February 1946, they spelt out 'Heil Hitler.'" (Bournemouth Evening Echo)
A list of actual announcements that London Tube train drivers have made to their passengers...
1) "Ladies and Gentlemen, I do apologize for the delay to your service. I know you're all dying to get home, unless, of course, you happen to be married to my ex-wife, in which case you'll want to cross over to the Westbound and go in the opposite direction."
2) "Your delay this evening is caused by the line controller suffering from E & B syndrome: not knowing his elbow from his backside. I'll let you know any further information as soon as I'm given any."
3) "Do you want the good news first or the bad news? The good news is that last Friday was my birthday and I hit the town and had a great time. The bad news is that there is a points failure somewhere between Stratford and East Ham, which means we probably won't reach our destination."
4) "Ladies and gentlemen, we apologize for the delay, but there is a security alert at Victoria station and we are therefore stuck here for the foreseeable future, so let's take our minds off it and pass some time together. All together now.... 'Ten green bottles, hanging on a wall.....'."
5) "We are now travelling through Baker Street... As you can see, Baker Street is closed. It would have been nice if they had actually told me, so I could tell you earlier, but no, they don't think about things like that".
6) "Beggars are operating on this train. Please do NOT encourage these professional beggars. If you have any spare change, please give it to a registered charity. Failing that, give it to me."
7) During an extremely hot rush hour on the Central Line, the driver announced in a West Indian drawl: "Step right this way for the sauna, ladies and gentleman... unfortunately, towels are not provided."
8) "Let the passengers off the train FIRST!" (Pause .) "Oh go on then, stuff yourselves in like sardines, see if I care - I'm going home...."
9) "Please allow the doors to close. Try not to confuse this with 'Please hold the doors open.' The two are distinct and separate instructions."
10) "Please note that the beeping noise coming from the doors means that the doors are about to close. It does not mean throw yourself or your bags into the doors."
11) "We can't move off because some idiot has their hand stuck in the door."
12) "To the gentleman wearing the long grey coat trying to get on the second carriage - what part of 'stand clear of the doors' don't you understand?"
13) "Please move all baggage away from the doors." (Pause..) "Please move ALL belongings away from the doors." (Pause...) "This is a personal message to the man in the brown suit wearing glasses at the rear of the train: Put the pie down, Four-eyes, and move your bl**dy golf clubs away from the door before I come down there and shove them up your a**e sideways!"
14) "May I remind all passengers that there is strictly no smoking allowed on any part of the underground. However, if you are smoking a joint, it's only fair that you pass it round the rest of the carriage."
YIKES!!!
Monday, February 27, 2006
Good Monday...Yikes the weekend went by fast! Reading the AOL strange but true news yesterday I found two very strange stories:
First, I want all you ladies,l especially any that are planning to travel to Madrid, Spain....beware of a man named Juan Carlos. No, not the guy that's king. This guy's dubious distinction is...uh, eh..making big babies!
You heard me right. The poor unsuspecting woman that bore his child had a 15-lb....that's right fifteeen pound....baby.
Now, me being the consumate man abuser that my friend Ric thinks I am, would normally attribute this abberation of nature to the man. Especially since the man said that the last baby he had with another woman weighed in at 17-pounds at birth. Notice that girl was smart and beat feet while the gettin' was good!
But this woman stated that her first daughter was 10.2-pounds at birth...Now I don't know about you...but to me, there's something radically wrong with someone who would keep putting themselves through that!
Another...fact is stranger than fiction story...somebody should do a movie about this one.
The owner of Biomedical Tissue Services of Fort Lee, N.J., was charged along with a Brooklyn funeral home owner for selling body parts. The guy who owned the tissue service went into the business after loosing his license as an oral surgeon.
Brooklyn District Attorney Charles Hynes called it "something out of a cheap horror movie." I don't call it cheap when they made millions of dollars. The bodies came from funeral homes in New York City, Rochester, Philadelphia and New Jersey that contracted with the Brooklyn funeral parlor for embalming.
The picture to the right shows just how determined they were. They stole this pair of leg bones and since they couldn't return it to the funeral parlor after the so-called embalming with flat legs....they stuffed PVC pipe in the legs and sewed them back up.....gives a whole new meaning to the term...stiff!
Okay, let's have a joke...Hey Ric...this one's for you"
Dear Tech Support:
Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0.
I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6.
I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!
Thanks,
A Troubled User.
_______________________
REPLY:
Dear Troubled User:
This is a very common problem that men complain about.
Many guys upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!!
It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.
You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the situation.
I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear 3.2" to alleviate software augmentation.
The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.
Wife 1..0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Laundry 4.2.
However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1, Hugs 4.3 and Dancing 5.0 !
WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.
Best of luck,
Tech Support
Saturday, February 25, 2006
Well, I have been prompted...kicking and screaming, I might add...to add a little of me to my posts. Now truthfully...I'm willing to give you a lot of me...there's a lot to go around...ROFLOL.
But I hesitate sometimes because I scare small children and dogs. My dear literary blogging friend Bernita said that I have the ability to cut people and they didn't even realize they were bleeding...Yikes!
Anyhow, I'll try to blah, blah more!
I'm going to tell you what I love about a book and an author that I've found. This is not the book I just finished...because I have to do a formal review of that next week for the Christian Fiction Blog Alliance.
I read Tom Clancy, Clive Cussler, and Nelson DeMille but I read mainly Christian fiction....Why?...I'm glad you asked...Because I like to support other Christian writers (hey...stop throwing things at the monitor. I do read my blogging buddies who are secularly published)! I'm a suspense/thriller action adventure type of girl. Sorry Bernita, I'm not literary all all *sigh*.
I know, I know...a lot of people roll their eyes at Christian fiction cause they think we're ramming God down their throats....well all I can say, is you haven't read any good Christian fiction lately!
The book lately that really tripped my trigger was Comes a Horseman by Robert Liparulo. The formal review and ordering information are directly left of this post.
Talk about raw, gut-wretching action! Whew..some chapters I had to read over just so I could get the shivers from cringing again!
The book starts out with a murder: Stepping forward he touched the barrel to the indentation between the man's lips and nose-lightly, as if annointing him-and pulled the trigger. The man's head snapped back. Brain and blood and bone instantly caked the mirror behind him, as a dozen fissures snapped the glass from a central point where the bullet had struck.
We come forward in time 5 years and meet one of the main characters, Brady Moore, an FBI field investigative agent. It's a calming chapter, meeting his son Zack and getting a glimpse about the sadness in his life over loosing his wife to cancer.
Then the roller coaster starts....a poor woman who paints plastic garbage cans to sell on E-bay is talking to a friend on the phone as she hears noise in her house. Telling her friend to hang on, she lays the phone down and goes to look. All I can say is she hasn't watched enough TV...when you hear a noise, you should beat feet in the other direction...not go towards it...
Click, click, click, click, click, click.
An animal appeared out of the shadows, its eyes glowing green. It was a dog...or a wolf. Despite the shaggy gray-black fur that covered its body, she saw its strength in the hulking muscles of its shoulders and haunches.....We move forward...She heard the clicking again and caught movement out of the corner of her vision. Another wolf-dog broke from the shadowy hall. It was in the air before she could fathom how to respond. Its jaws clamped down on her extended wrist..........Blood appeared to bubble out of its nostrils, and then she realized that it was her blood, gushing out of the deep wound, staining the animal's muzzle, pouring to the floor.
And then...and then...the scarey looking guy dressed in skins like a 1300's Viking, carrying a flat ax and accompanied by another wolf-dog comes into the room...and chops off her head while the two wolf-dogs hold her down by the arms... Eeewwwhhhhh!!!!!
Whoa!!!I mean...this book rocks! Next we meet our kick-butt female character Alicia Wagner. She's another field agent that has developed this new gear to help with crime scene investigation, so she winds up investigating the woman's murder.
Slowly clues tie several murders together and when Brady and Alicia start connecting the dots, they become the targets and assassins are dispatched to off them....In graphic, spine-tingling detail Liparulo describes the attacks and the journey that they go on traveling around the world, trying to pin down the mastermind behind the string of killings!
Ha...and I'm not gonna' tell ya' why or how it ends! Go buy the book!
What kind of books do you read? What genre gets you juices flowing?
Okay...I can't do it...I can't let you go through the weekend without a joke, so here goes:
Jim and Mary were both patients in a Mental Hospital.
One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sunk to the bottom and stayed there.
Mary promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out.
When the medical director became aware of Mary's heroic act he immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as he now considered her to be mentally stable.
When he went to tell Mary the news he said, "Mary, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged because since you were able to jump in and save the life of another patient, I think you've regained your senses. The bad news is, Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself with his bathrobe belt in the bathroom. I am so sorry, but he's dead."
Mary replied "He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry."
Friday, February 24, 2006
Yahoo...we made it...TGIF...I get to sleep in on Saturday...One of my blogging friends thinks I should talk some...in addition to...or in place of...she'd prefer in place of.....the jokes.
I don't think I'm all that funny...actually when I get on a rant I could probably make you cry...LOL...Okay, does anybody have a subject that they want to discuss? I'm game as long as it's PG rated...LOL
Hey, stop by our Bible study blog Seek And Ye Shall Find! During the week Mimi, her great husband Dave, and her son Keegan do the weekday chapter postings. On Satuday, I do a Lesson from the Land of the Bible. Come on down, ya'll!
Now the joke of all jokes...the Friday, carry you to Monday joke:
A farmer is sitting in the neighborhood bar slowly getting drunk.
A man comes in and asks the farmer, “Hey, why are you sitting here on this beautiful day getting drunk?”
The farmer says, “Some things you just can’t explain.”
“So what happened that is so horrible?” the man asked.
The farmer then decides to try an answer, “Well if you must know, today I was sitting by my cow milking her. Just as I got the bucket about full, she took her left leg and kicked it over.”
“That’s not so bad. What’s the big deal?” said the man as he sat down beside the farmer.
The farmer says, “Some things you just can’t explain.”
“So what happened?” the man asked again.
The farmer relenting, continued, “I took her left leg and tied it to the post on the left with some rope. Then I sat down and continued to milk her. Just as I got the bucket about full she took her right leg and kicked it over.”
“Again?” said the man as he motioned to the bartender for service.
The farmer says, “Some things you just can’t explain.”
“So, what did you do then?” the man asked, intrigued.
“I took her right leg and tied it to the post on the right. I sat back down and continued to milk her, and just as I got the bucket just about full, the stupid cow knocked over the bucket with her tail.”
“Wow, you must have been pretty upset! But that’s no reason to just sit here getting all depressed,” said the man.
The farmer says, “Some things you just can’t explain.”
“So then what else did you do?” the man asked again.
“Well," said the farmer, shaking his head. "I didn’t have any more rope, so I took off my belt and tied her tail to the rafter. That’s when my pants fell down, and my wife walked in…”
Yikes!
Thursday, February 23, 2006
Thursday...one more day till the weekend...sigh...I'm wishing my life away...but that's the only way to get to Saturday and sleeping in! LOL
Okay Ric...men get a reprieve today...'cause ya'll are so sweet....uhhmmm...my blogging buddy Bonnie Ballpoint Wren has a house full of them....and they're all taller than her aim! You gotta' read it to love it!
Here's one for the ladies today....and I bet a know at least a half dozen of you that would do this...Ladies...sign in please! ROFLOL!!!!
-Stick your open palm under the stall wall and ask your neighbor, "May I borrow a highlighter?"
-Say, "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't have put my lips on that."
-Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.
-Say, "Darn, this water's cold."
-Drop a marble and say, "Oh poop! My glass eye!"
-Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."
-Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a height of 6 feet. Sigh relaxingly.
-Say, "Now how did that get there?"
-Say, "Humus. Reminds me of humus."
-Say, "Interesting... more floaters than sinkers."
-Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a wad of toilet paper and drop the wad under the stall wall of your neighbor. Then say, "Whoops, could you kick that back over here please?"
-Fill a balloon with creamed corn. Rush into the stall with your hand over your mouth and let out a lengthy vomit impression while you squeeze the balloon and splatter cream corn all about. Apologize profusely and blame it on the fettucine alfredo you had for breakfast.
-Say, "Boy, that sure looks like a maggot."
-Say, "Darn, I knew that drain hole was a little too small. Now what am I gonna do?"
-Before you unroll toilet paper, conspicuously lay down your "Cross-Dressers Anonymous" newsletter on the floor visible to the adjacent stall.
-Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall, adjust it so you can see your neighbor and say, "Peek-a-boo!"
-Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall wall and sing "Born Free."
WARNING: I DO NOT SUPPY BAIL MONEY!!!!
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
Yea...we made it to hump day...Wednesday means it's all downhill from here!
I must admit my joyful exuberance at finding another 'man' joke to torment Ric was premature.
In subsequent rereads I found myself envying the men for being simple...uh, er...did I say that? I mean ~snicker~ their LIVES are simple...*whew* skirted that bullet!
This is about men, but the man acts more like a woman...snort, snort!
Several men are in the locker room of a golf club.
A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker-function and begins to talk.
Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
MAN: "Hello"
WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"
MAN: "Yes"
WOMAN: "I am at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"
MAN: "Sure, ..go ahead if you like it that much."
WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2005 models. I saw one I really liked."
MAN: "How much?"
WOMAN: "$60,000"
MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."
WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing...The house we wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $950,000"
MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer, but just offer 900,000."
WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you!"
MAN: "Bye, I love you, too."
The man hangs up.
The other men in the locker room are looking at him in astonishment.
Then he asks: "Anyone know who this phone belongs to?"
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
Today is my best blogging buddy Mimi's Birthday!!! Go say Happy, Happy to her!
Ohhhhh...I don't know what came over me??? Should I...no...yes...no...Ohhhh, Ric...you thought I forgot aboutcha' didn't ya'...Hehehe...here's lookin at ya' buddy!
(What do you expect from such simple creatures as men?)
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be president.
You can wear a white t-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO t-shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth. And if you think that's not a problem, go over to Joe's Jottings and listen to this girl getting scamed by a radio DJ. It's sad but oh so funny!
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station because "this one's just too icky".
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add "character".
Gray hair is considered "distinguished".
Wedding dress- $1000, Tux rental: $100.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood, ALL the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $1.95 for a three pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You almost never have "strap problems" in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
The same hairstyle may last for years...even decades.
You only to have shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
Your belly usually hides your big hips.
One wallet and one pair of shoes...one color, all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24, in 45 minutes.
No wonder men are just happier!!
Monday, February 20, 2006
Yesterday February 19th, was the anniversary of Iwo Jima.
Sixty-one years after five Marines and a sailor hoisted the American flag above a mound of volcanic rock, we remember the sacrifices of the 6,821 American soldiers that died during the battle for the island that lasted into late March.
Alas, we are running out of survivors to honor. But time marches on, and we have new survivors to honor for their service to our country.
Please join with me in saying a prayer for all of our service men and women stationed in foriegn lands!
Friday, February 17, 2006
TGIF...geez, didn't I just say this...it was seven days ago...all ready...how time flies when you have no sleep! No sleep, you might ask...pray tell, why have you missed sleep?
'CAUSE I SPEND TO MUCH TIME VISITING BLOGS!!!!
Oh well...now...in addition to supplying a coffee snorting giggle for my blogging friends...I have been informed in the comments of yesterday's post, by my sweet 'like a son' Donny, that his popularity quotient on his college campus, is directly divisible by the jockularity factor of my jokes!
Great!!...More pressure!!...but true to form...me, myself and I are up to the challenge...shhh, be quiet, I don't want them to know I'm here...you be quiet, it's my turn to talk...both of you shutup, I'll do the talking here....Uh, Oh, Hi folks, just a little disagreement with myselves!
On to the Jokes...yes plural...two to get you started on the weekend...Be safe, See ya' Monday!
A cute little old lady goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor I have this problem with gas, but it really doesn't bother me too much. It never smells and is always silent. As a matter of fact I've farted at least 10 times since I've been here in your office. You didn't know I was farting because it doesn't smell and is silent."
The doctor says, "I see. Take these pills and come back to see me next week".
The next week the lady returns. "Doctor," she says, "I don't know what the heck you gave me, but now my farts, although still silent, stink terribly!"
"Good," the doctor said. "Now that we've cleared up your sinuses, let's work on your hearing."
And the second came from my friend S.R....Sorry girlfriend, I can't send the kids over there, it's a little too adult!
Two alligators were sitting in the swamp talking.
The smaller one turned to the bigger one and said, "I cain't unnerstand how you kin be so much bigger 'n me. We're the same age, we was the same size as kids. I just don't get it."
"Well," said the big 'gator, What you been eatin' boy?"
"Politicians, same as you," replied the small 'gator.
"Hmm. Well, where do y'all catch 'em?"
"Down 'tother side of the swamp near the parkin' lot by the capitol."
"Same here. Hmm. How do you catch 'em?"
"Well, I crawls up under one of them Lexus and wait fer one to unlock the car door. Then I jump out, grab 'em on the leg, shake the poop out of 'em, and eat 'em!"
"Ah!" says the big alligator, "I think I see your problem. You ain't gettin' any real nourishment. See, by the time you get done shakin' the poop out of a Politician, there ain't nothin' left but a butt and a briefcase!"
Thursday, February 16, 2006
Well it's Thursday ...I think...my time is starting to look like one of those little wheels in a hamster cage...I just have to fling myself off of it into oblivion to get some sleep.
It's 2 AM and I'm just getting to post. Had to watch American Idol and Bones....I wanted to see those strange identical twins from Georgia...wonder of wonders...they're gone! Apparantly they've got jail problems for stealing info to buy a $23,000 car last June. One's in jail and the other's on the lamb.
Bones is an excellent forensic show with a lot of action....love, love, love it!
Now for a joke that will make Donny laugh...sheesh watching me with the choir isn't funny enough?
A blind man is walking down the street with his seeing-eye dog one day.
They come to a busy intersection, and the dog, ignoring the high volume of traffic zooming by on the street, leads the blind man right out into the thick of traffic.
This is followed by the screech of tires and horns blaring as panicked drivers try desperately not to run the pair down.
The blind man and the dog finally reach the safety of the sidewalk on the other side of the street, and the blind man pulls a cookie out of his coat pocket, which he offers to the dog.
A passer-by, having observed the near fatal incident, can't control his amazement and says to the blind man, "Why on earth are you rewarding your dog with a cookie? He nearly got you killed!"
The blind man turns partially in his direction and replies, "To find out where his head is, so I can kick his butt."
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
Well...good Tuesday, Wednesday?...what day am I on? It's hump day already...geez...how time flies when we're having fun,,,and getting older than dirt...LOL
For all of you out there, who like me now carry the dubious distinction of being older than dirt...Welcome to the Geritol generation!....Euuwwwww!!...is there anyone who remembers that stuff.
At the risk of getting hate e-mail from the company...LOL...When I was a teen there was a man in our neighborhood who all the old ladies swore, died because he drank that stuff...as bad as cod liver oil if you ask me!
I know...there's a whole generation out there scratching their heads, wondering what I'm smoking...seriously kids...I telling ya' the truth!
Oh well, I can hear my bones aging...let's get to the Joke of The Day:
A farmer goes out one day and buys a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop.
The young rooster walks over to the old rooster and says, "Ok, old fellow, time to retire."
The old rooster says, "You can't handle all these chickens . . look at what it did to me!"
The young rooster replies, "Now, don't give me a hassle about this. Time for the old to step aside and the young to take over, so take a hike."
The old rooster says, "Aw, c'mon . . .just let me have the two old hens over in the corner. I won't bother you."
The young rooster says, "Scram! Beat it! You're washed up! I'm taking over!"
The old rooster thinks for a minute and then says to the young rooster, "I'll tell you what, young fellow, I'll have a race around the farmhouse with you. Whoever wins the race gets domain of the chicken coop."
The young rooster says, "You know I'm going to beat you, old man,so just to be fair, I'm even going to give you a head start."
They line up in back of the farm house, get a chicken to cluck "Go!" and the old rooster takes off running.
About 15 seconds later the young rooster takes off after him.
They round the front of the farm house and the young rooster is only about 5 inches behind the old rooster and gaining fast.
The farmer, sitting on the porch, looks up, sees what's going on, grabs his shotgun and BOOM!......he blows the young rooster to bits.
He sadly shakes his head and says, "Darnit, third gay rooster I bought this week!"
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
If you don't score very well blame it on being too young !! It is a win - win situation.
This is a History Exam for those who don't mind seeing how much they really remember about what went on in their life. Get paper and pencil and number from 1 to 20.
Write the letter of each answer and score at the end.
Then, best of all, put your score in the comment trail!
1. In the 1940's, where were automobile headlight dimmer switches located?
a. On the floor shift knob
b. On the floor board, to the left of the clutch
c. Next to the horn
2. The bottle top of a Royal Crown Cola bottle had holes in it. For what was it used?
a. Capture lightning bugs
b. To sprinkle clothes before ironing
c. Large salt shaker
3. Why was having milk delivered a problem in northern winters?
a. Cows got cold and wouldn't produce milk
b. Ice on highways forced delivery by dog sled
c. Milkmen left deliveries outside of front doors and milk would freeze, expanding and pushing up the cardboard bottle top.
4. What was the popular chewing gum named for a game of chance?
a. Blackjack
b. Gin
c. Craps!
5. What method did women use to look as if they were wearing stockings when none were available due to rationing during W.W.II
a. Suntan
b. Leg painting
c. Wearing slacks
6. What post war car turned automotive design on its ear when you couldn't tell whether it was coming or going?
a. Studebaker
b. Nash Metro
c. Tucker
7. Which was a popular candy when you were a kid?
a. Strips of dried peanut butter
b. Chocolate licorice bars
c. Wax coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar water inside
8. How was Butch wax used?
a. To stiffen a flat-top haircut so it stood up
b. To make floors shiny and prevent scuffing
c. On the wheels of roller skates to prevent rust
9. Before inline skates, how did you keep your roller skates attached to your shoes?
a With clamps, tightened by a skate key
b. Woven straps that crossed the foot
c. Long pieces of twine
10. As a kid, what was considered the best way to reach a decision?
a. Consider all the facts
b. Ask Mom
c. Eeny-meeny-miney-mo
11. What was the most dreaded disease in the 1940's?
a. Smallpox
b. AIDS
c. Polio
12.I'll be down to get you in a ________, Honey"
a. SUV
b. Taxi
c. Streetcar
13. What was the name of Caroline Kennedy's pet pony?
a. Old Blue
b. Paint
c. Macaroni
14. What was a Duck-and-Cover Drill?
a. Part of the game of hide and seek
b What you did when your Mom called you in to do chores
c. Hiding under your desk, and covering your head with your arms in an A-bomb drill.
15. What was the name of the Indian Princess on the Howdy Doody show?
a. Princess Summerfallwinterspring
b. Princess Sacajawea
c. Princess Moonshadow
16. What did all the really savvy students do when mimeographed tests were handed out in school?
a. Immediately sniffed the purple ink, as this was believed to get you high
b. Made paper airplanes to see who could sail theirs out the window
c. Wrote another pupil's name on the top, to avoid their failure
17. Why did your Mom shop in stores that gave Green Stamps with purchases?
a. To keep you out of mischief by licking the backs, which tasted like bubble gum
b. They could be put in special books and redeemed for various household items
c. They were given to the kids to be used as stick-on tattoos
18. Praise the Lord, and pass the _________?
a. Meatballs
b. Dames
c. Ammunition
19. What was the name of the singing group that made the song "Cabdriver" a hit?
a. The Ink Spots
b. The Supremes
c. The Esquires
20. Who left his heart in San Francisco?
a. Tony Bennett
b. Xavier Cugat
c. George Gershwin
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
ANSWERS
1. b) On the floor, to the left of the clutch. Hand controls, popular in Europe, took till the late '60's to catch on.
2. b) To sprinkle clothes before ironing. Who had a steam iron?
3. c) Cold weather caused the milk to freeze and expand, popping the bottle top.
4. a) Blackjack Gum.
5. b) Special makeup was applied, followed by drawing a seam down the back of the leg with eyebrow pencil.
6. a) 1946 Studebaker.
7. c) Wax coke bottles containing super-sweet colored water.
8 a) Wax for your flat top (butch) haircut.
9. a) With clamps, tightened by a skate key, which you wore on a shoestring around your neck.
10. c) Eeny-meeny-miney-mo.
11. c) Polio. In beginning of August, swimming pools were closed, movies and other public gathering places were closed to try to prevent spread of the disease.
12. b) Taxi. Better be ready by half-past eight!
13. c) Macaroni.
14. c) Hiding under your desk, and covering your head with your arms in an A-bomb drill.
15. a) Princess Summerfallwinterspring. She was another puppet.
16. a) Immediately sniffed the purple ink to get a high.
17. b) Put in a special stamp book, they could be traded for household items at the Green Stamp store.
18. c) Ammunition, and we'll all be free.
19. a) The widely famous 50's group: The Inkspots.
20. a) Tony Bennett, and he sounds just as good today..
SCORING
17- 20 correct: You are older than dirt, and obviously gifted with mental abilities. Now if you could only find your glasses. Definitely someone who should share your wisdom!
12 -16 correct: Not quite dirt yet, but you're getting there.
0 -11 correct: You are not old enough to share the wisdom of your experiences.
P.S.....I'm older than dirt! I only missed one. The puppet name. Howdy Doody used to creep me out. There's something radically wrong with talking wood!....so I very seldom watched it!
Monday, February 13, 2006
TGILU...(Thank God I Live Upstate...down in New York City, they got more than two feet of snow...you can go here to check out the Times Square Web Cam. Click the camera shots underneath the open frame to see other angles.
Here's another Web Cam in Brooklyn that you can check out...*sniff, sniff*...a blizzard would have been a little excitement...LOL...I'm not the one that uses the snowblower...I drink hot chocolate and watch!
What do you think of the pictures? The one on the left represents how it was painted and the one on the right is the angle view that pulls it all together. Is that cool or what?
Go over to the site 3D Painted Rooms to see the rest of them. They boggle the mind with the shear complexity involved to pull the optical illusions together!
I thank my talented romantic novel writing friend, Brenda Coulter for this cool link.
And now for a joke to start off the week:
An Illinois man left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida.
His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day.
When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick email.
Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her email address, he did his best to type it from memory.
Unfortunately, he missed one letter and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher's wife, whose husband had passed away only the day before.
When the grieving widow checked her email, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream and fell to the floor in a dead faint.
At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen.....
DEAREST WIFE...
JUST GOT CHECKED IN...
EVERYTHING PREPARED FOR YOUR ARRIVAL TOMORROW...
P.S.
SURE IS HOT DOWN HERE.
Saturday, February 11, 2006
Have a fun weekend all...Don't try this at home. The participants were of the Nitwit Order-Tenth Degree! LOL!!
A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:
Officer: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?
Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.
Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.
Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.
Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
Driver: Yes, sir.
Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:
Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
Driver: Sure. Here it is. It was valid.
Captain: Who's car is this?
Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the registration.
Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?
Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it.
Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.
Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it.
Driver: No problem. Trunk is opened; no body.
Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glove-box, and that there was a body in the trunk?
Driver: Yeah, and I'll bet the big liar told you I was speeding too!
Friday, February 10, 2006
Hey, we made it! Another week is done. Stop wishing the days away...you're getting older!
Let's do a moldy minute recap on the week...
Half of the European publishing world is hiding out from maniacal mobs for publishing several cartoons depicting Mohammed. If I understand the controversey correctly the problem isn't that they drew him with a bomb on his head, do tell! But the fact that they drew him at all!
Then we've got the Rolling Stone magazine, who put Kanye West on their cover depicting Jesus...nobody says a word! I'll tell ya'...If they'd have put him on the cover depicting Mohammed, Rolling Stone would be hiding out too!
And then you've got the funeral of one of the great ladies of the civil rights movement, Coretta Scott King...and the few jackasses who tried to turn it into a medamucil moment for political gain...I was seriously waiting for the poor woman to roll over in the coffin and send it hurtling down the center aisle.
You'd think that they'd learn...every time they pull a dead day diatribe...they loose come election day!
And I say again...Thank God It's Friday!!!
A couple were going out for the evening.
They'd gotten ready, all dolled up, dog put out, etc.
The taxi arrives, and as the couple start out, the dog shoots back in the house.
They don't want the dog shut in the house, so the wife goes out to the taxi while the husband goes upstairs to chase the dog out.
The wife, not wanting it known that the house will be empty explains to the taxi driver, "He's just going upstairs to say good-bye to my mother."
A few minutes later, the husband gets into the cab.
"Sorry I took so long" he says. "Stupid wench was hiding under the bed and I had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! Then I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching and biting me as I hauled her butt downstairs and tossed her in the back yard! She better not poop in the vegetable garden again either!"
Again...Thank God, it's Friday....I'm getting punchy!
Thursday, February 09, 2006
Why am I excited you ask?...What has created this outburst of jockularity?...Where does this festive spirt come from?
Uh, oh...I don't know...LOL..just waking up in the morning tends to bring on these moods. To put it in perspective...My Grandma went to sleep one night in 1971. Never woke up again. Ruined the whole rest of her life...
Not that she didn't get a new life with the Lord...but the one here on this plane sorta' flatlined. So every morning that I wake up, is a Thank You Jesus moment!
Okay...I've been had! Yes me...Moi...the picture of the shark attacking the helicopter is a fake!! Yes, false, madeup, bogus, a James Frey moment...LOL..I have been really good about not mentioning him!
Here's the link on Snopes, so you can check it out. I love that site. I use it quite often, but I've had that picture for a year or so and never thought to check it out.
During the Great Depression, there was a man who walked into a bar one day.
He went up to the bartender and said, "Bartender, I'd like to buy the house a round of drinks."
The bartender said, "That's fine, but we're in the middle of the Depression, so I'll need to see some money first."
The guy pulled out a huge wad of bills and set them on the bar.
The bartender can't believe what he's seeing. "Where did you get all that money?" asked the bartender.
"I'm a professional gambler," replied the man.
The bartender said, "There's no such thing! I mean, your odds are fifty-fifty at best, right?"
"Well, I only bet on sure things," said the guy.
"Like what?" asked the bartender.
"Well, for example, I'll bet you fifty dollars that I can bite my right eye," he said.
The bartender thought about it. "Okay," he said.
So, the guy pulled out his false right eye and bit it.
"Aw, you messed with me," said the bartender, and paid the guy his $50.
"I'll give you another chance. I'll bet you another fifty dollars that I can bite my left eye," said the stranger.
The bartender thought again and said, "Well, I know you're not blind, I mean, I watched you walk in here. I'll take that bet."
So, the guy pulled out his false teeth and bit his left eye.
"Aw, you messed with me again!" protested the bartender.
"That's how I win so much money, bartender. I'll just take a bottle of your best scotch in lieu of the fifty dollars," said the man.
With that, the guy went to the back room and spent the better part of the night playing cards with some of the locals. After many hours of drinking and card playing, he stumbled up to the bar.
Drunk as a skunk, he said, "Bartender, I'll give you one last chance. I'll bet you five hundred dollars that I can stand on this bar on one foot and pee into that whiskey bottle on that shelf behind you without spilling a drop."
The bartender once again pondered the bet. The guy couldn't even stand up straight on two feet, much less one. "Okay, you're on," he said.
The guy climbed up on the bar, stood on one leg, and began peeing all over the place. He hit the bar, the bartender, himself, but not a drop made it into the whiskey bottle.
The bartender was ecstatic. Laughing, the bartender said, "Hey pal, you owe me five hundred dollars!"
The guy climbed down off the bar and said, "That's okay. I just bet each of the guys in the card room a thousand bucks each that I could pee all over you and the bar and still make you laugh!"
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
Good Wednesday!
Folks, I'd like you all to meet two of my favorite guys. This is Donny Terry. He's 20 years old, a student in Davis Bible college, a member of a Christian rock band called Fight The Fall (the band's website is up but not active yet, so bookmark it), and he's a youth leader at my church! He was on a missions trip to Mexico in this picture. Drop by his blog.
And this is Anthony Gates. He's also one of my favorite guys. He's 18 years old, a student in Davis Bible college, a memeber of the same Christian rock band as Donny, and another youth leader at my church...LOL...and he's even even more of neophyte...LOL..in blogging and SPELLING than Donny...LOL Stop by his 'developing' blog and 'encourage' him to do more than two line posts!
I tried to copy this one for ya' but it turned out to be individual pictures so I just didn't have the time to put it together. But go to Things That Make You Go Hmmm and see this amazing card trick...Me, the brain trust, played with it for five minutes before I had to go see how it kept happening...silly Me!
If you love something, set it free.
If it comes back, it was, and always will be yours.
If it never returns, it was never yours to begin with.
If it just sits in your room, messes up your stuff, eats your food, uses your phone, takes your money, and never behaves as if you actually set it free in the first place, you either married it or gave birth to it.
And My version of the same one:
If you love it, let it go.
If it doesn't come back...
Hunt it down and shoot it!
Did I say that....bad Bonnie, bad Bonnie!
If at first you DO succeed, try not to look astonished!
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
Good Tuesday ya'll!
Well they threatened us with snow yesterday and today...nothing has happened yet. This winter has been a real bust as far as snow is concerned. That's how I give myself vacation days. This winter it seems to be, no rest for the wanting!
Hey, I found a good story in the Calgary Sun, about a Woman Ice Fishing that pulled in a shark as long as a car.
And speaking of sharks, here are some real pictures of sharks...no trick photography...but excuse the sharks for being naked!
Although this looks like a picture taken from a Hollywood movie, it is in fact a real photo taken near the South African coast during a military exercise by the British Navy.
First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they
carried us.
They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes.
Then after that trauma, our baby cribs were covered with bright colored lead-based paints.
We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking.
As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags.
Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a special treat.
We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle.
We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this.
We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank soda pop with sugar in it, but we weren't overweight because...
WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!
We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.
No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O.K.
We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.
We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 99 channels on cable, no video tape movies, no surround sound, no cell phones, no personal computers, no Internet or Internet chat rooms. WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!
We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents.
We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.
We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes.
We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just yelled for them!
Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!!
The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!
This generation has produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever!
The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.
We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL!
You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as
kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated our lives for our own good.
And while you are at it, send your kids over so they will know how brave their parents were.
Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn't it?!
Monday, February 06, 2006
Okay folks, how wa your weekend? It seemed like Blogger had a tantrum on Saturday! I didn't notice, because at the same time my ISP went down for the entire day...Conspiracy theory...maybe they're all connected...LOL
My best friend in the whole of the internet, M. C. Pearson and her family, including her ten-year-old son Keegan, have decided to start a bible Study Blog, titled Seek And Ye Shall Find.
Come by and set a spell. She has convinced me to sign on as a contributer (so now I'll have a legitimate excuse for not getting my writing edits done M.G....if you are listening!...LOL.
It is a family friendly site. We've got some pretty cool graphics and I've got a wealth of Bible bibliography to add in at appropriate times. Come on by, ya' hear!
I was looking at the strange news of the day, not that I'm not strange enough on my own. I found this Karate Experts Hired To Control Parrots. I can see it now...karate-chopping the sharp-beaked little buggers...No really, they said they wouldn't hurt the birds, just scare them away!
Reminds me of the attack parrot joke I posted a few months ago!
Here's a Joke to start off Monday....
A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she stayed by his bedside every single day.
When he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.
As she sat by him, he said, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you gave me support. When my health started failing, you were still by my side... You know what?"
"What dear?" She asked gently.
"I think you bring me bad luck."
And in honor of the weekend we've had with Blogger...
Access denied--nah nah na nah nah! C:\ Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.
Bad command. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaay..
Saturday, February 04, 2006
Good Weekend all!
A PRAYER....
Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man;
Love to forgive him;
And Patience for his moods.
Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength,
I'll beat him to death!
AMEN
A HANGOVER....
Jack wakes up at home with a hugh hangover.
He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirin next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose!
Jack sees his clothing all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house.
Jack takes the aspirin, cringes when he sees a hugh black eye staring back at him from the bathroon mirror. He spies a note on the table.
It reads: "Honey, breakfast is on the stove. I had to leave early to go shopping. Love you."
Jack stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper.
His son is also at the table eating.
Jack asks, "Son, what happened last night?"
Son says," Well, you came home after 3A.M., drunk out of your mind. You broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door."
"So why is everything in such perfect order, so clean," Jack asks bewhildered,"I have a rose and breakfast is on the table waiting for me."
"Oh that," his son replied.
"Mom dragged you into the bedroon, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed,"Leave me alone, lady, I'm married!"
Friday, February 03, 2006
These are posts for ladies today! Sorry guys...but if you like hysterically funny cat pictures...even if your not willing to admit it...you can go look....go on! I won't tell!
A young wife sat on a sofa on a hot humid day, drinking iced tea and visiting with her Mother.
As they talked about life, about marriage, about the responsibilities of life and the obligations of adulthood, the mother clinked the ice cubes in her glass thoughtfully and turned a clear, sober glance upon her daughter.
"Don't forget your Sisters," she advised, swirling the tea leaves to the bottom of her glass. "They'll be more important as you get older. No matter how much you love your husband, no matter how much you love the childrenyou may have, you are still going to need Sisters. Remember to go places with them now and then; do things with them."
She looked at her daughter, "Remember that 'Sisters' means ALL the women... your girlfriends, your daughters, and all your other women relatives too. You'll need other women. Women always do."
'What a funny piece of advice!', the young woman thought. 'Haven't I just gotten married? Haven't I just joined the couple-world? I'm now a married woman, for goodness sake! A grownup! Surely my husband and the family we may start will be all I need to make my life worthwhile!'
But she listened to her Mother. She kept contact with her Sisters and made more women friends each year.
As the years tumbled by, one after another, she gradually came to understand that her Mom really knew what she was talking about. As time and nature work their changes and their mysteries upon a woman, Sisters are the mainstays of her life.
Time passes.
Life happens.
Distance separates.
Children grow up.
Jobs come and go.
Love waxes and wanes.
Men don't do what they're supposed to do.
Hearts break.
Parents die.
Colleagues forget favors.
Careers end.
BUT...Sisters are there, no matter how much time and how many miles are between you.
A girl friend is never farther away than needing her can reach.
When you have to walk that lonesome valley and you have to walk it by yourself, the women in your life will be on the valley's rim, cheering you on, praying for you, pulling for you, intervening on your behalf, and waiting with open arms at the valley's end.
Sometimes, they will even break the rules and walk beside you.
Or come in and carry you out.
Girlfriends, daughters, granddaughters, daughters-in-law, sisters, sisters-in-law, Mothers, Grandmothers, aunties, nieces, cousins, and extended family, all bless our life!
The world wouldn't be the same without women, and neither would I.
When we began this adventure called womanhood, we had no idea of the incredible joys or sorrows that lay ahead.
Nor did we know how much we would need each other.
Every day, we need each other still.
Pass this on to all the women who help make your life meaningful.
I just did.
Love & Hugs to you all!
There are only two ways to live your life.
One is as though miracles never happen.
The other is as though everything is a miracle....Albert Einstein
This next site has been nominated for the 2006 Bloggy Award for most humerous site:
Thursday, February 02, 2006
Thanks to my blogging buddy Bonnie 'Ballpoint' Wren...I've turned into a vegetable!
I completely zoned out on this game called Escape. You put your mouse on the red square and click...the idea is to NOT get hit by the blue squares or run into the sides...Hey, hey...don't go there now...read the rest of the post...cause that's the last that I'll see of you for the rest of the day!
Hey Ric if the phones still aren't working you could entertain yourself with this mindless game...not saying you don't have a mind, just saying...oh, nevermind! Yikes! LOL
You can read the full story of Sgt. Burghardt here. Here's an excerpt:
His colleagues cut off his trousers to see how badly he was hurt. None could believe his legs were still there.
"My dad's a Vietnam vet who's paralyzed from the waist down," says Sgt Burghardt. "I was lying there thinking I didn't want to be in a wheelchair next to my dad and for him to see me like that. They started to cut away my pants and I felt a real sharp pain and blood trickling down. Then I wiggled my toes and I thought, 'Good, I'm in business.'
As a stretcher was brought over, adrenaline and anger kicked in.
"I decided to walk to the helicopter. I wasn't going to let my team-mates see me being carried away on a stretcher."
He stood and gave the insurgents who had blown him up a one-fingered salute. "I flipped them one. It was like, 'OK, I lost that round but I'll be back next week'."
While Sgt. Burghardt spent over three weeks recuperating at his unit's headquarters —days he described as "among the most difficult of his career" — he proclaimed that despite his injuries, he was not looking for a ticket out of the country — the incident occurred during his third deployment to Iraq, and he stated that he planned to see plenty more action:
"I don't want a ticket out. I want to stay here so we can take as many people home as possible. I'll do 30 years, as long as I'm having fun. Unless I die."
Lord, I ask you to watch over our fighting men and women, sons and daughters, husbands and wives, and bring them home safely...AMEN
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
This month, as a member of the Christian Fiction Blog Alliance, I have the honor of reviewing Pink (Shades of Style). This is special to me because I count the author, Marilynn Griffith among my blogging friends.
The protagonist of this tale is Raya, sporting a white-blonde afro and her favorite color—pink. She has just come out of a funk from her father letting her down. Now this fresh and funky designer is loose in NY City. Just as she thinks she has the world and men in particular figured out, she gets a "God loves you." from a GQ fashionable guy that makes her legs feel like spaghetti.
The book, Pink uncovers what it takes everyone more than one time to learn. It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all, and somebody always gets hurt. It just what you do with that hurt that counts.
Marilynn's books are always an emotional roller coaster to read. From laughs to tears, her last book Made of Honor left me wanting more. Now with Pink, those emotions start all over again.
In addition to buying it at Amazon.com, you can buy Pink at ChristianBook.com or your local bookstore like Barnes and Noble.
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