Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Some of Them Are Blonde...even Maxine!

My home town blogging buddy Debra Brand sent me these funnies for your pleasure!

Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking...and one blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away...Florida or the moon?"

The other blonde turns and says... "Helloooooo, can you see Florida...?????"

CAR TROUBLE
A woman pushes her BMW into a gas station.
She tells the mechanic it died.
After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
She says, "What's the story?"
He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor"
She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"

SPEEDING TICKET
A police officer stops a old woman for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"

RIVER WALK
There's this woman out for a walk. She comes to a river and
sees a man on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the other side?"

The man looks up the river then down the river and
shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."

AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.
"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."

The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left breast and
screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed in even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed.

Everywhere she touched made her scream.

The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?

"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."

"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."


KNITTING
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the
freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the woman behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!"

"NO!" the woman yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"

IN A VACUUM
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her
turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science and Nature.
Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"

She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"

And FINALLY,
THE BLONDE DOG OWNER

A girl was visiting her air-headed friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The air-head responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.

Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"

"HELLLOOOOOOO......," answered the air-head. "They're watch dogs!"


8 Comments:

  1. The Curmudgeon's Rant said...
    The wife and daughter are both blondes.

    Oh, the stories I could tell...
    Bernita said...
    You married one and begot the other, doffus...
    Live, Love, Laugh said...
    lol! I needed to laugh. Thanks Bonnie, these were great!!!
    jamie ford said...
    My wife is blonde, but fake blonde, does that still count?
    Ric said...
    Bad blonde jokes in the middle of the week - that's why we love Bonnie.
    Dennie McDonald said...
    LOL - HAHAHA

    Maxine is right on!
    Gordon Cloud said...
    Thanks for the laughs, Bonnie.
    M. C. Pearson said...
    I resemble those remarks...but way too funny...maybe I don't resemble them as much as I used to because I understood them all. Guess my hair is getting darker? LOL

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