Saturday, June 10, 2006

Driving Test Q & A

This should keep you occupied 'til Monday!

The following are a sampling of real answers received on exams given by the California Department of Transportation's driving school.

Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road?
A: What for? He can't see my license plate.

Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop at the same time?
A: The pick up truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker saying, "Guns don't kill people. I do."

Q: When driving through fog, what should you use?
A: Your car.

Q: How can you reduce the possibility of having an accident?
A: Be too drunk to find your keys.

Q: What problems would you face if you were arrested for drunk driving?
A: I'd probably lose my buzz a lot faster.

Q: What changes would occur in your lifestyle if you could no longer drive lawfully?
A: I would be forced to drive unlawfully.

Q: What are some points to remember when passing or being passed?
A: Make eye contact and wave "hello" if she is cute.

Q: What is the difference between a flashing red traffic light and a flashing yellow traffic light?
A: The color.

Q: How do you deal with heavy traffic?
A: Heavy psychedelics.

Q: What can you do to help ease a heavy traffic problem?
A: Carry loaded weapons.

Q: Why would it be difficult to be a police officer?
A: It would be tough to be an idiot all day long.


*sigh* And these are REAL answers...Be afraid...be very afraid!



"You've got about three seconds to get that thing off my head!"

11 Comments:

  1. Elizabeth said...
    I've often met people who caused me to ponder: "And the government gave them a driver's license?"

    Surely, I thought, they cheated the test. Surely, they'd made a lot of lucky guesses on the multiple choice section. Surely, they'd slept with that geeky guy behind the counter at the motor vehicle bureau.

    Evidently, there was no cheating, no lucky answers, no sexual bribery.

    The government INTENTIONALLY gave these folks a driver's license.

    Ya know, I was happy in my blissfully oblivious world. Excuse me now, I'm going back to CNN and the Alien Abductionists.
    Live, Love, Laugh said...
    oh my Goodness!!! that is definately scary!!!!
    Bernita said...
    More uncontrollable giggling.
    But, I relate, official forms make me want to say something outrageous.
    Ballpoint Wren said...
    Aw, Bonnie, California is such an easy mark. Where are the questions from the New York DMV????

    I like this one best:

    Q: What can you do to help ease a heavy traffic problem?
    A: Carry loaded weapons.


    California: Land of Road Rage!
    Bonnie Calhoun said...
    Hehe, Ballpoint...if we put up the New York ones, it would take the starch out of the "I Love NY" campaign!
    Rulan said...
    Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop at the same time?
    A: The pick up truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker saying, "Guns don't kill people. I do."

    Argh... Run for your lives!
    M. C. Pearson said...
    I think I know a few of these people! Ha!

    Dave related to the color difference question...the smart donkey that he is. Heh.

    Love the cat.
    Stranger in a Strange Land said...
    In Redneckland (aka North Carolina), the truck with the biggest tires has the right of way at a four-way stop.
    Dennie McDonald said...
    too too funny - LOL! (and scary)
    Crystal said...
    Hahaha! Too funny!
    The Curmudgeon's Rant said...
    The pick-up with the gun rack and the bumper sticker...

    That's my wife's commuter car.

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