Wednesday, June 07, 2006

If My Body Was A Car

"Go for it Bernita...I'm ready...LOL!"

It's Hump Day and this is for all of the women out there who feel like I do!

Hat tip to Ric! (Yea ladies...blame it on him!)


If my body were a car, this is the time I would be thinking about trading it in for a newer model. I've got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish and my paint job is getting a little dull, but that's not the worst of it

My headlights are out of focus and it's especially hard to see things up close.

My traction is not as graceful as it once was. I slip and slide and skid and bump into things even in the best of weather. My whitewalls are stained with varicose veins.

It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed.

My fuel rate burns inefficiently.

But here's the worst of it -- almost every time I sneeze, cough or sputter.....either my radiator leaks or my exhaust backfires!

c2003 Linda S Amstutz

"I think I'm going to barf!"


  1. M. C. Pearson said...
    Hey, that Calvin sure looks like me right now. Okay, I'm calling it a night John-Boy! Love ya!
    Bernita said...
    Oh Bonnie!
    What a beautiful picture!
    Now I'll have to come up with something really steamy to justify it.
    Oh, you lovely girl!
    Denise McDonald said...

    Love the pic!

    and the cartoon .... please don't let my kids see that - they don't need any encouragement!
    Mindy Tarquini said...
    That's a very pretty picture of you, Bonnie.
    Bonnie S. Calhoun said...
    Hmmm...thanks all! Is the beautiful part, the fact that you can't see my face?...ROFLOL!
    AnotherLinda said...
    My name is Linda S Amstutz and I am the author and registered copyright holder for the essay IF MY BODY WERE A CAR which you have posted, w/o my permission, on your blog. You can view my copyright at If you wish to continue using my essay, please add "c2003 Linda S Amstutz. You can read more by this author at". If you do not wish to add my copyright and byline, please delete my essay from your blog. Thank you.
    Bonnie S. Calhoun said...
    I'd be glad to post your info Linda. As you can see that was sent to me as an email laugh sveral years ago!

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