Saturday, June 17, 2006

Womanly Advantage

Advantages Of Being A Woman

Better know as....Why it's better to be a Woman!

1. We got off the Titanic first.

2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.

3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.

4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.

6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game.

7. Taxis stop for us.

8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point).

11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.

12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.

13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.

14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.

15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.

16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.

17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt.

18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.

19. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.

20. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.

21. We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.

22. We have the ability to dress ourselves.

23. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.

24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.

25. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.

26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.

27. We'll never regret piercing our ears.

28. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.

29. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark.

30. We have enough sense to realize that the easiest way to get out of being lost is to ask for directions. (The Israelites wondered around the desert for 40 years before Mrs. Moses asked for directions!

13 Comments:

  1. Ric said...
    I dunno.
    3, 5, 12, 14, 23

    sound like fun.

    and we know all about church people and #14 - so don't EVEN go there, Bonnie.
    Dennie McDonald said...
    Ric - lol
    The Curmudgeon's Rant said...
    These were a riot.
    Bernita said...
    More truth than fiction.
    You know, I used that lipstick line in my book.
    Stephen Newton said...
    So glad Bernita is back. Yes, Rocky is very fastidious. I have seen them do the dipping, washing thing. I was a nervous about our Rocky being so close. They are famous for carrying rabies in Florida. But he wasn't frothing or growling, just hungry.

    Have a great weekend.
    Stephen Newton said...
    Bonnie, In my firefox and Safari browsers, your posts appear far down on the page, so I have to scroll to see your recent posts.
    jel said...
    hi bonnie,

    funny as ever
    M. C. Pearson said...
    Cute! And your blog looks fine.
    Dana Y. T. Lin said...
    LOL - #30. Which is why man invented Mapquest and the GPS...so he doens't have to rely on his wife to ask for directions!
    Live, Love, Laugh said...
    Great post, you speak the truth Bonnie!!! lol
    BunnyGirl said...
    This had me in stitches. Great observations and very funny too.
    M. C. Pearson said...
    Okay...so am I now NOT a member of the CBFA??? LOL PUT ME ON IT CHICKIE-POO!

    Something is amiss on the right side of your blog. One of the squares is too big.
    StillWater said...
    Wow! Semi permanent make up has alot of uses! But did you know that a woman consumes over 4 to 9 lbs of lipstick in her lifetime! Here is the link that I found that shows all of the research:

    http://www.lipink.com/lipstick_wax_s/6510.htm&Click=33586

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