Wednesday, June 14, 2006

For The Birds!

Good Wednesday. These pictures were prompted by my blogging friend Stephen Newton He takes magnificent pictures, mine pale in comparison, but I get the point across...LOL!

Stephen recently posted a beautiful picture of a Great Blue Heron. This is my version of that...The bird looks kinda' stiff huh? LOL...That's because it's a decoy. That's right...that puppy...er, bird is all plastic! It's to keep the real one away. Apparently they're a very territorial bird, and one won't inhabit an occupied spot!



These babies are the reason for the decoy! The real Heron uses my pond as a gourmet restaurant. It lies...er,stands in wait in the shallow end and sooner or later the stupid goldfish and Koi go..."Oh look, sticks...let's go see!" and the heron grabs them. To add insult to injury, there's a big flat rock nearby that it uses as a dinner plate....Then leaves me the bones! Haven't seen him land since the decoy took up residence..He flies by every now and then to see if the coast is clear yet...LOL!



And this is a long shot of my peaceful, country critter inhabited pond!



I thought this joke was appropriate because my friend Stephen lives in Florida!
This is an actual job application a 17 year old boy submitted at a McDonald's fast-food establishment in Florida... and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!

NAME: Greg Bulmash

SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY: Less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes.

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.

SIGN HERE: Aries.

5 Comments:

  1. Bernita said...
    That "sign here: aries" really cracks me up.
    Stephen Newton said...
    That application was a riot. I wish I had done that. Oh well. I love your plastic heron and shame on that real heron for robbing your fish. The nerve! From the photos I'd say you're the one who lives in paradise. Nice place, Bonnie. And $600 a year looks sweet, too.

    Thanks for the nice words about my photos!
    M. C. Pearson said...
    I love those pictures. I want to live there! Wow.

    That application was so darned funny.
    The Curmudgeon's Rant said...
    Gee, I wonder if they got the job?
    The Curmudgeon's Rant said...
    Oops... I guess he DID get the job.

    (My eyes are acting up again)

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