Tuesday, February 06, 2007

And That Will Hold Ya!

Hey, happy Tuesday! I got my blog all changed over to a New Blogger template! You can see the designer of this basic template at the bottom. I left his tag in the footer, because he just does awesome work and I wanted him to get the credit he deserves!

A little side story...if you go HERE and look at the first picture, that is the Yelverton house in the fair town of Conklin where I have my shop. These are pictures of the June 2006 flood. It was a very rude awakening for them because they were at their house in Florida when it happened, and had to rush home.

It took Helene and Bill almost a quarter million dollars to get their house and the dance studio back in shape. They decided to take a long winter break at their Florida home, and stay there until spring. They just happened to come home last Thrusday because Bill had to attend a school board meeting.

That's right!!! You guessed it. While they were back here at home, the tornado in Florida, on Friday, got their house!

NOTE TO SELF: Don't move anywhere near Helene!


I'm sorry for any irreverance that anyone feels about this joke below, but I couldn't resist!

A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway in Nevada when he notices a sign out of the corner of his eye...It reads:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
10 MILES


He thinks this is a figment of his imagination and drives on without second thought. Soon he sees another sign which reads:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
5 MILES


Suddenly he begins to realize that these signs are for real and drives past a third sign saying:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
NEXT RIGHT


His curiosity gets the best of him and he pulls into the drive. On the far side of the parking lot is a stone building with a small sign next to the door reading:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS


He climbs the steps and rings the bell.

The door is answered by a nun in a long black habit who asks, "What may we do for you my son?"

He answers, "I saw your signs along the highway and was interested in possibly doing business..."

"Very well my son. Please follow me." He is led through many winding passages and is soon quite disoriented. The nun stops at a closed door and tells the man, "Please knock on this door."

He does so and another nun in a long habit, holding a tin cup answers the door. This nun instructs him, "Please place $100 in the cup then go through the large wooden door at the end of the hallway."

He puts $100 in the cup, eagerly trots down the hall and slips through the door pulling it shut behind him. The door locks, and he finds himself back in the parking lot facing another sign:

GO IN PEACE.
YOU HAVE JUST BEEN SCREWED BY THE SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS.
SERVES YOU RIGHT YOU SINNER.


8 Comments:

  1. Debrand said...
    Oooh my!
    Bernita said...
    Love that!
    ~running down stairs to brighten up someone's morning~
    Paula Neal Mooney said...
    Hey Bonnie - Your blog looks great. I'll have you know that I'm at the library right now -- albeit on a different PC than before -- and I can read your text and everything looks clean...

    Great job,
    Paula
    M. G. Tarquini said...
    At first I thought that sign read:

    Please, neuter your pies.

    Pies?
    CeCe Lane said...
    Oh my!! I am laughing my dern fool head off. That's funny.
    Rulan said...
    lol Love the sign. he he
    I want to steal your calendar with the hands. cool
    Mirtika said...
    I like that one. Heard it before. Still like it. There was an X Files episode that had a joke like this in the plot, the one with the Human Conundrum...but it was the magic shop customers who got screwed. :)

    I'm glad you kept the pink and shells/stones motif. That was the one I liked best when you were experimenting.

    Mir
    Ballpoint Wren said...
    Bonnie, these are all too funny!

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