Tuesday, February 20, 2007

McMissiles and...oh never mind!

Yes, it is Tuesday...all day!

Hey Go check out our CFBA Amazon.com store...right over there on the left...just click and away you go! But come back and read the jokes!

The news of the day that tripped my trigger has to do with our judicial system...I want to know what they are smoking. Check out this story about The McMissile Mom who was convicted by a Stafford County jury, and sentenced to two years in prison...for what you ask?

What heinous crime did this evil woman...who had her six-month pregnant sister with her. The woman was having early contractions by the way. And whose husband is on his third tour in Iraq...do? Did she murder someone? Did she run someone down with her car? Did she rob a liquor store? Are you ready for this...she hurled a large MacDonald's cup of ice out her car window at someone who had cut her off in traffic...for the second time!

Granted bad behavior is not to be rewarded, but in the name of all that is holy...TWO YEARS IN PRISON...give me a break!

Here...have some jokes!

Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them, "I must tell you all something. We have a case of gonorrhea in the convent."

"Thank God," said an elderly nun at the back. "I'm so tired of chardonnay."
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A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.

Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. "Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!"

The wife stared at him. "What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"

The husband calmly replied, "I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving."
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Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a North Carolina mountain man, was drafted by the Army. On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb. That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair.

On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush. That afternoon the Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth.

On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap

The Army has been looking for Herman for 51 years.

3 Comments:

  1. Debrand said...
    Hmmm. Bonnie. Where do you find them?
    Bernita said...
    ~howling~
    Stephen Newton said...
    Yes, we have so little snow, but they actually close the schools and businesses here...(whimps). You've had your fair share of white stuff for sure!

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