by Bonnie Calhoun

And now for a Metamucil moment:

Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are.

You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape.

If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40.

If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

Also, remember everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.

If you shop anywhere but Wal-Mart(that reminds me of a story), you are just showing off!

And finally, be really nice to your family and friends; you never know when you might need them to empty your bedpan.