Friday, May 19, 2006

Cop Say the Darnest Things... and Dog Smile

We made it to another Friday. It seems like it was just yesterday...LOL! Just my age showing!

I grabbed this funny piece from my friend Sandra! Remember while your out tonight, you could hear this from an officer of the law, if you choose to wind up on the wrong side!

Who Says Cops Don't Have A Sense Of Humor?...

"Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."

“Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."

"If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

"Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second? In case you didn't know, that is the average speed of a 9 mm bullet fired from my gun."

"So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"

"Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift super visor, but I don't think it will help. Oh ... did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"

"Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

"The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

"Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey poop."

"Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

"In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."

"Just how big were those two beers?"

"No sir we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."

"I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."

"You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here."

"I shoulda' been a police dog!"

5 Comments:

  1. Bernita said...
    Ohh, that last is a killer!
    Dennie McDonald said...
    those are so great... SJ's son is a copper...she'll have to read them!

    cute pic1
    Dana Y. T. Lin said...
    "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

    Bwahahahaha!
    Ballpoint Wren said...
    That one about the speed of the bullet is scary!
    The Curmudgeon's Rant said...
    Happy, smiley, police dog...

    He must have just taken a bite out of crime.

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