Friday, March 30, 2007

Sanjaya Malakar...and God's First Children

by Bonnie Calhoun

Okay, we made it to Friday...I can't talk...I can't think...I can't believe that Sanjaya Malakar IS STILL ON AMERICAN IDOL! In the name of all that is right in the universe...I would ask the Lord to help...but this is way too stupid to waste His time!

This is unbelievable!I tried to find a picture of this week's rubberband mohawk hairdo, but they are not forthcoming yet! And then, on Wednesday, Ryan Seacrest comes out on stage in the same kind of hairdo. Simon is beside himself and actually speechless.

Sanjaya has to go. This is like the effects of global warming, nuclear proliferation, and a few category 5 hurricanes thrown in for good measure. Lord...will the people of America please send Sanjaya Malakar HOME!!!!

And now for some other children:

To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our own, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or students...here is something to make you chuckle. Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children. After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve.

And the first thing He said was "DON'T!"

"Don't what?" Adam asked.

"Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God answered.

"Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit?"

"Hey Eve...we have forbidden fruit!!!!"

"No Way!"

"Yes, way!"

"Do NOT eat the fruit!" said God.

"Why?"

"Because I am your Father and I said so!" God replied, wondering why He hadn't stopped creation after making elephants. A few minutes later, God saw His children having a fruit break and He was ticked!

"Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?" God asked.

"Uh huh," Adam replied.

"Then why did you?" asked the Father.

"I don't know," said Eve.

"She started it!" Adam said.

"Did not!"

"Did to!"

"DID NOT!"

Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own. Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.

BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY!

If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself.

If God had trouble raising children,

what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you?

THINGS TO THINK ABOUT!

1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.

2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children.

3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.

4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said in the first place.

5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.

6. We childproofed our homes, but they are still getting in.

7. Just when you redecorate their room into a nice TV room, they show up with boxes, suitcases and large dogs, to move back home.


ADVICE FOR THE DAY:


Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing home one day.

AND FINALLY:

IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET A HEADACHE, DO WHAT IT SAYS ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE:

"Take two aspirin" and "Keep away from children!!!"




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7 Comments:

  1. Bernita said...
    I know that God said "vengeance is mine," but I always consider grandchildren "Grandmother's revenge."
    Sherry said...
    Bonnie,
    Things to think about are sooo true. It's nice to read them again after hearing them all my live. :)

    BTW Thank you so much for the link to Beta Bloggers Resources.

    Have a great day!
    Bonnie Calhoun said...
    You're welcome Sherry, you've got good stuff over there! :-)

    Bernita, soon I'll be on that Gandma side of the coin!
    Paula Neal Mooney said...
    Yeah, Howard Stern has got some kind of campaign going to keep that kid on American Idol.

    I like Sanjaya and his hair!

    Happy Weekend,
    Paula
    groundhogger said...
    Hiya, Bonnie, I got your comment on my blog, its the first one I've had in months. Maybe everyone is just bored as Hell with what I'm doing.. I don't know. sometimes life just gets out of time or something, thanks any.
    have a nice day, groundhogger
    EdoRiver said...
    Bonnie,
    1) kids, yes, and no; yes and no; yes and no.
    2) I was in the Bloggers help group about logon problems and saw your link in one posting, followed it to Jan 7th of 2004--my time flies.

    I still have a problem, sometimes. I didn't expect to be able to get in, but it worked, just like my car I am going to blog about. Take it to the repair man, and it works fine. Go out the next day and, "DEAD!".
    So many times I've had to go through the lost password routine. Blogger.com always remembers my email address, but ALmost never my password, even though firefox supplies a password....I have no idea which password it put there this time. I have run through so many new passwords already.....I was about ready to be come depressed.

    However the Blogger gods are kind this evening. But tomorrow???

    So should I NEVER sign out? Will this work? Or is this just a usual problem that people have? Honestly I have no idea what my password is. I'm afraid if I try it now, erase my password and retype the word I think, It will fail.

    Do you have a suggestion? A simple suggestion, a complex suggestion?

    3) well some interesting people's faces here. I'll bookmark this and try to return tomorrow.
    regards from Japan
    Edo River
    Bonnie Calhoun said...
    Edoriver, this post will help you to recover either/ or both your username and password.

    Lost Username/Password

    But another novel idea would be to write it down somewhere :-)

    It is not a sign of weakness to not remember...My list has 78 usernames and passwords!

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