Saturday, January 21, 2006

FIFTY FUN THINGS TO DO IN AN ELEVATOR

Good weekend! I've added a few things to the site! Like in the left sidebar, there's now a Bible study catagory. Mimi Pearson and Human Being have very interesting studies going on.

And on the right sidebar, under Author Qoutes, I've added one from JAKonrath.

While you're out and about this weekend, visit a store that has an elevator. Here's a list of fifty fun things to do in an elevator!

1. Make race car noises when people get on and off.

2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other passengers.

3. Grimace painfully while slapping your forehead and muttering, "Shut up dammit, all of you just SHUT UP!"

4. Whistle the first 7 notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.

5. Sell Girl Scout Cookies.

6. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.

7. Shave.

8. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask, "Got enough air in there?"

9. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear your upside-down.

10. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

11. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to pull the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.

12. Lean over to another passenger and whisper, "Ever had a Wet Willy?"

13. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you "Admiral."

14. One word: Flatulence!

15. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.

16. Do Tai Chi exercises.

17. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on."

18. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back, "Oh, not now, damn motion sickness!"

19. Give religious tracts to each passenger.

20. Meow occasionally.

21. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.

22. Frown and mutter, "Gotta go, gotta go," then sigh and say, "oops!"

23. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.

24. Sing "Mary Had a Little Lamb" while continuously pushing buttons.

25. Holler, "Chutes away!!" whenever the elevator descends.

26. Walk on with a cooler that says "Human Head" on the side.

27. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce, "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.

28. Burp, then say, "Mmmmm.....tasty!"

29. Leave a box between the doors.

30. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.

31. Wear a hand puppet and talk to the other passengers "through" it.

32. Start a sing-along.

33. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask, "Is that your beeper?"

34. Play the accordion.

35. Shadow box.

36. Say, "Ding!" at each floor.

37. Lean against the button panel.

38. Say, "I wonder what all these do?" and then push ALL the red buttons.

39. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.

40. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."

41. Bring a chair along.

42. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger, "Wanna see wha in muh mouf??"

43. Blow spit bubbles.

44. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.

45. Announce in a demonic voice, "I must find a more suitable host body."

46. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.

47. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

48. Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.

49. Stare at your thumb and say, "I think it's getting bigger."

50. If anyone brushes against you, recoil fiercely and scream, "BAD TOUCH!"

And when you need someone to post your bail....DON'T CALL ME!

13 Comments:

  1. Bernita said...
    ~hysterical~
    Dennie McDonald said...
    LOL!
    Ric said...
    Very fun! What's an elevator? It's kinda flat around here.

    My Wife's Uncle Pat would get in the elevator and start singing the Hanes commercial from twenty years ago.
    " I feel good all under."
    An Ordinary Christian said...
    Some of these are rally funny.
    The Curmudgeon's Rant said...
    A riot!
    A Human Bean said...
    Bonnie,

    Thanks for the plug and the comments. I read you blog everyday, but don't always comment. I would have to say the same thing every day, "ha ha ha." Thanks for making me laugh.

    Doug (aka Human Bean)
    Lisa S. said...
    Oh Lordy! I just about sprayed my monitor with diet coke.

    Hope you don't mind if I pass this one along.
    Joe said...
    Comment, "In an elevator we all have our ups and downs."
    Bonnie Calhoun said...
    Ya'll are so cute. I used a long one, so that it will last all weekend!

    Ric, use a grain elevator!
    M. G. Tarquini said...
    where's my comment? I had a comment! Something about letting your kids push all the buttons...
    Bonnie Calhoun said...
    OMG....I apologize to anyone ~snicker~ who saw Anonymous's post before I deleted it.

    Yikes! hope the Pastor didn't drop by while I wasn't looking!
    M. C. Pearson said...
    45. Announce in a demonic voice, "I must find a more suitable host body."

    Is that after handing out religious tracks or before???

    LOL too much. Hey, thanks for the plug on the bible study. We are having fun aren't we?
    Jennifer said...
    Ok, as a person with bad OCD, I just want you to know that I'm going to write a post on elevator etiquette.

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