Hello, hello, hello, my husband Bob wants equal time.

He doesn't play or watch any sports that involve balls! Snort!

He's a fisherman! He hooks squiggly worms onto hooks and sits there all day feeding the fish. In addition to having bass, bluegills and pumpkinseeds in our pond, there are also goldfish.

That's a whole 'nother story that suffices to say, I know why it is illegal to put goldfish into public waterways! Tell 'em...I don't want to...do it! OKAY!!!

We had the pond dug in the early summer of 1989. My husband said that we needed to wait a year to let the pond acclimate. I didn't want to, soooo.....

I went to the fish store and bought a bag of tinsey, winsey feeder fish (baby goldfish that they feed to bigger fish) I put them in the pond. I got 30 of them, they were small. The little buggers, ingrates that they were, swam off and I never saw them the rest of the summer (insert music from Jaws).

Winter came, the pond froze over. In the spring, one day after the pond had thawed, my husband came in the house. "Uh, Bonnie, you'd better come out here!"

I replied nonchalantly, "Where."

He looked at me blankly, "The pond."

I was busy...doing nothing, "Why?"

He grinned, "I can't explain this, you have to see it."

So I reluctantly stopped doing nothing and walked outside with him.

As I approached the pond, my brain couldn't quite comprehend what I was seeing, until we got down to the water's edge.

More than half of the pond was gold! There must have been five thousand goldfish!

"Oh, my God, I've created an ecological disaster!" I gasped.

My husband laughted. "I guess we can stock the pond now!"

The fish he is holding below is the result of good goldfish eating by the bass!



Billy and Jethro decide to go ice fishing. After arriving at the lake early in the morning, they cut two holes in the lake and drop in their lines in the water.

After fishing for a few hours, Billy has caught dozens of fish while Jethro hasn't even gotten a bite.

Jethro asks, "Billy, what's your secret?"

Billy answers, "Mmu motta meep da mmrms mmrm."

Jethro asks, "What did you say?"

Billy answers, "Mmu motta meep da mmrms mmrm."

Jethro again asks, "What?"

Billy spits into his hand and says, "You gotta keep the worms warm!"