Saturday, January 14, 2006

IMHO and A DEAD COW

In my humble opinion, the most asinine story that I've read today is HERE.

An engaged couple have put themselves and six other relative up for lease, on EBAY for $1.5 Million.

Their names are JoJo Gator and Jackie Kidney (she looks out at the audience wrlyly), no lie...that's really their names.

Go read the story!

And the Joke for Friday....drum roll please!


On a farm out in the country lived a man and a woman and their three sons.

Early one morning, the woman awoke, and while looking out of the window onto to the pasture, she saw that the family's only cow was lying dead in the field. The situation looked hopeless to her -- how could she possibly continue to feed her family now?

In a depressed state of mind, she hung herself. When the husband awoke to find his wife dead, as well as the cow, he too began to see the hopelessness of the situation, and he shot himself in the head.

Now the oldest son woke up to discover his parents dead (and the cow), and he decided to go down to the river and drown himself.

When he got to the river, he discovered a mermaid sitting on the bank. She said, "I've seen all and know the reason for your despair. But if you will make love with me five times in a row, I will restore your parents and the cow to you."

The son agreed to try, but after four times, he was simply unable to satisfy her again. So the mermaid drowned him in the river.

Next the second oldest son woke up. After discovering what had happened, he too decided to throw himself into the river.

The mermaid said to him, "If you will make love with me ten times in a row, I will make everything right." And while the son tried his best (seven times), it was not enough to satisfy the mermaid, so she drowned him in the river.

The youngest son woke up and saw his parents dead, the dead cow in the field, and his brothers gone. He decided that life was a hopeless prospect, and he went down to the river to throw himself in.

And there he also met the mermaid. She looke at him inticingly and said, "I have seen all that has happened, and I can make everything right if you will only make love with me fifteen times in a row."

The young son replied, "Is that all? Why not twenty times in a row?"

The mermaid was somewhat taken aback by this request.

Then he said, "Hell, why not twenty-five times in a row?"

And even as she was reluctantly agreeing to his request, he said, "Why not THIRTY times in a row?"

Finally, she said, "Enough Okay, if you will make love with me thirty times in a row, then I will bring everybody back to perfect health."

The young son tipped his head to the side and asked: "Wait How do I know that thirty times in a row won't kill you like it did the cow?"


Everybody's a joke critic! LOL!

9 Comments:

  1. M. G. Tarquini said...
    That's 300K per year for the family. That's not chump change. And that's to do housework, gardening, auto service...

    For 300K, I want them to get my mss. published with one of the big houses.
    Bernita said...
    Ack! Ack! Ack!
    Ric said...
    EVeryone has a price. It's expecting someone to pay high for what appears mediocre talents that makes this so funny.

    And the joke is GOOD too.

    Great punch line.
    Ballpoint Wren said...
    Did "Kato" Kaelin get married and have kids already?
    Dennie McDonald said...
    I have often offered to rent my kids out - cheap labor - never had any takers - hmm...

    that joke - OH MY!
    Joe said...
    IMHBCO (In My Humble, But Correct Opinion), that EBAY stuff is wierder than that joke. (Actually, the joke was pretty funny).
    Live, Love, Laugh said...
    You are a RIOT!!! lol!
    An Ordinary Christian said...
    Hi Bonnie. You leave me speechless. What's next, I wonder. Where do you find this stuff?
    Bonnie Calhoun said...
    I find it all over the place! That's what makes the world so wonderful. You can always find a laugh when you want to!! Even when my sinuses are this bad!!

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