Friday, January 06, 2006

HELL HATH NO FURY!!!!

She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases.

On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.

On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of Chardonnay.

When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells, dipped in caviar, into the hollow of the curtain rods.

She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.

When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell.

They tried everything; cleaning and mopping and airing the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned. Air fresheners were hung everywhere.

Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing worked.

People stopped coming over to visit...

Repairmen refused to work in the house...

The maid quit...

Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move. A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house.

Word got out, and eventually, even the local realtors refused to return their calls. Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.

The ex-wife called the man, and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely, and said that she missed her old home terribly, and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back...

Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth...

But only if she were to sign the papers that very day. She agreed, and within the hour, his lawyers delivered the paperwork.

A week later, the man and his new girlfriend stood smirking as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home.

...including the curtain rods.

I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING, DON'T YOU???



In case you can't read the caption:

It Could Be That The Purpose Of Your Life
Is To Serve As a Warning To Others!

8 Comments:

  1. M. C. Pearson said...
    Including the curtain rods!!! Wahahahahahahaha!!!
    Live, Love, Laugh said...
    hahaha that is hilarious! I love this blog!!!!!
    Dennie McDonald said...
    LOL!

    I love the picture w/ caption! - 2005 was a good example of that. . .
    Robin Caroll said...
    LOLOLOL...the sad thing is, I know someone who actually did something similar.....not with the shrimp nor in the curtain rods, but in the air ducts! LOL She got the house back and immediately removed the offensive objects, had an a/c company come and clean her ducts, and now she's blissfully happy. LOL Real life continues to amuse me!
    Bonnie Calhoun said...
    Several people have told me that they saw this as anactual movie on the Oxygen channel. I got the story from a clean women's joke site: http://www.womensfunnyvideos.com/HellHathNoFury.htm

    So I don't know who came first, the woman or the movie!
    Ric said...
    This is a good one! LOL

    Just what I needed to cheer up on a grumpy day.
    Dennie McDonald said...
    Tsavo had it on his the other day, too
    An Ordinary Christian said...
    That is such a great story. So funny.

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